There is nothing funny about “Mr. Woodcock”. Even though this movie is being advertised as a comedy, it is filled with no laughs and no humor. What this film does offer is a sadistic, absurd, and insulting waste of 79 minutes that the viewer will never get back.

According to IMDB.com, the film was shot in early 2005. It has been sitting on a cutting room floor for two and a half years and the final product makes you wonder exactly what filmmakers were doing during this time period to improve the film.

This “comedy” has no value what so ever. The most that this movie has to offer are endless attempted jokes about alcoholism, physical abuse and the sheer hilarity of ruining lives.

On paper, maybe this looked like a perfect vehicle for Billy Bob Thornton to be another cynical jerk, but instead of a “Bad Santa” like film, we are left with just another “School For Scoundrels”.

In “Mr. Woodcock”, John Farley (Seann William Scott) is the author of a best selling self-help book. Due to his recent fame, his hometown in Nebraska awards John the prestigious award of The Corn Cob Key.

Countless empty references about Nebraska and corn ensue. Upon returning home, John finds that his mother (Susan Sarandon) is dating his old gym teacher, Jasper Woodcock (Thornton). Through a series of painful flashbacks, we see that Woodcock unleashed pure hell on John as a child, which inevitably provided inspiration for his book.

As a gym teacher, Woodcock was allowed to harass all of his students about their weight, asthma and deceased parents.

So, for the rest of the film, John tries to convince his mother that her newfound beau is a horrible, deranged person. John and Woodcock begin to compete to win the affection of the most important woman in both of their lives. Billy Bob Thornton is in fact an Academy Award winner for his work in “Sling Blade”.

Now a decade later, he is starring in moronic comedies with the likes of Napoleon Dynamite and Stiffler. Thornton’s performance in this film is so contrived and forced that it seems as though he has been playing the same character for the last five movies he’s done.

The chemistry between him and Seann William Scott quickly fizzles in their first scene together. After seeing one of the worst films of the year, hopefully the Academy will take back Thornton’s statue.

The most puzzling thing about this film is that Susan Sarandon actually agreed to participate in such a low-brow, idiosyncratic film. Her screen time is minimal, but when she does appear you can almost see the dollar signs in her eyes.

All of the gags in this movie have been repeated an infinite number of times. The story is a by-the-book, one-dimensional, rehashing of ideas that had been done at least decade ago.

The last thirty minutes of the film are so predictable that you can walk out of the theatre the second the movie takes its’ obligatory dramatic turn and still accurately guess what will happen.

The only positive element of this film is the small role that “Saturday Night Live‘s” Amy Poehler plays. Her actual use of comedy allows the film to sneak in a few smirks here and there.

“Mr. Woodcock” is a movie that will be quickly forgotten and placed immediately on a shelf at a video store to live out its’ days amongst “Gigli” and “Kangaroo Jack.”

Hopefully Billy Bob’s next career move takes him back to his dramatic prime, otherwise “Mr. Woodcock” could be his last performance.