Britney’s VMA performance.

That’s it. I have no joke.

But so it was, as the pop princess lip-synced her way across the Palms Casino Resort stage. Her bra and panty combo twinkled with the memory of the Britney America’s tweens used to adore and worship. Slinky, slithery dance moves reminded us she’s a slave ‘4′ us.

“Is she finally making a comeback?” we asked, poised waiting at the edge of our droopy, college-ridden couches. “Is she emerging from the age of K-Fed? Has she finally seen the light?”

Hah. Not quite.

As I watched Ms. Spears bump and grind her way into the hall of shame, I wondered whether this could be the worst comeback attempt ever.

But then I thought of Mel Gibson.

Ahh, the ladies’ man. From “What Women Want” to “Ransom,” Gibson was the epitome of heartthrob-dom. Pretty, oh so pretty was he. I understand that looks and sex sell in the land of the fake and the beautiful. I’m cool with that. But will someone explain to me how he went from box-office beefcake to anti-Semitic?

I think it’s great he’s making movies he can hold near and dear to his heart, I mean “Passion of the Christ” was stellar. People will still enjoy his movies, but he will forever be “that actor who went crazy.”

But he couldn’t have been the only other comeback atrocity, right?

Of course not! There was that actress who shoplifted. Oh! Winona Ryder!

The girl proved she can act. She’s survived in Hollywood for 20 years, and with two Oscar nominations, she’s not exactly penny-pinching.

But something about shoplifting “for a movie role” doesn’t seem as sane of an excuse as one would hope from someone with whom Johnny Depp used to rub elbows with.

Pictures circulated of Ryder in a courtroom defending her honor, and down her image went. Mutter her name now, and your buddies battle over who’s had the craziest shoplifting extravaganza. Not exactly a flattering connotation.

But Winona doesn’t even skim the tops of Richard Gere’s bouts of embarrassment. Sorry, but an overzealous mouth never got anyone extra ballroom-dancing movie roles, Mr. Gere.

After publicly kissing actress Shilpa Shetty in India, Gere was shunned for public obscenity. Did he just forget his handbook on cultural decency, or did he channel Adrien Brody for a second?

I mean, who walks up to someone in the middle of an event for HIV and decides it’s a good idea to start smooching the natives? Seriously, who does that?

So Brit’s not the only celeb gone completely wacko in Hollywood.

Glad I figured that one out.

Still, no joke.