Rating: 2 / 10

“Halloween” is not what you want it to be.

If a director tries to portray something to capture an audience, then Rob Zombie does not understand his generation or his audience.

This generation, reviewer included, is tired of horror films which have done nothing to spur their momentum or their various submissions which qualify for this garbage genre.

The film opens with Mike Myers as a small child in a dirty setting with an abusive father, abused sister, and stripper mother. Little Michael is physically abused by his father, verbally abused by his mother, and left alone.

We follow Michael through a typical “Day in the Life” of a potential serial killer. This is our first glimpse of creativity as we sit through an unbearably formulaic start.

There is a glimpse of interesting, video-game-style camera-work, which announces killings. A scene which Zombie reuses over and over is the still newspaper shot which rears its ugly head with Little Michael covered in blood holding a baby to a distraught mother.

The film fast forwards to a sanitarium where Michael kills again, and devotes himself to silence. After a nurse is slain, the mother, in one of the only tasteful shots of film, kills herself where we don’t see the act.

The only surviving, non-serial killer member is raised by the police, interesting twist, and we again jump ahead fifteen years until the next murder. DING DING DING MOST INTERESTING KILL ALERT! An old janitor, Danny Trejo of “Dusk Till Dawn” and “Desperado,” is crushed with a large TV.

We follow grown-up Michael through a series of vicious 70s style teen-angsted killings full of needless sex scenes which don’t have the tease that the true genre holds dear.

The original John Carpenter “Halloween,” defined a genre, while the recent film just added another name to a list of already excessive bulk.

Put simply, without the fancy title of ‘revisioning,’ the new “Halloween” gives Mike Myers a back story.

“Halloween” does what everything else has done. Zombie gets a little more creative and bold than in his previous ventures.

It seems like he is getting closer to reaching his full potential, but if we have to keep sitting through this garbage before we get something good, I might be a little tired before a masterpiece comes. “Halloween” seems to be a good idea which did not end up where it should have.