What’s personal, popular and tacky all over?

A YouTube celebrity!

If recent YouTube videos are any indication for how to achieve instant fame, then I feel sorry for all those actor-wannabes sleeping in their cars. I mean, it worked for Leo.

Apparently, it worked for Chris Crocker, too – the guy crying us a river in the name of Britney.

Boy-Britney balled and sobbed over how the ambiguous “media” are only after selling papers and gaining readership, and don’t care that Britney’s not so well upstairs. I mean, come on! “Stop it, right now,” he pleaded through teary eyes and runny eyeliner. From now on, he threatened, we’re going to have to answer to him!

It’s not the weeping that caught my attention. It was the fact that, “Wow, what an idiot,” immediately came from my lips.

I’m completely in awe of how the most mundane acts receive such vast publicity. If I spent an afternoon listening to “Oops, I Did It Again” on repeat, I could spew five minutes’ worth of insanity, too, even if my ears were bleeding.

Then, I’d be the next in line to boast of inexplicable celebrity, chat it up with Jimmy Kimmel and become the next water-cooler “What the crap?”

I had the same reaction when I saw Leah Kauffman – “Obama Girl” – give music and lyrics to her infamous crush.

The man’s attractive, no doubt, but I feel a little weird thinking of the now-senator as good-looking man-meat. He debates. He represents you in Congress. He’s running for president, for Pete’s sake.

Sending him a nice thank-you note approving a swell political move is sufficient to know that we, the constituency, are appreciative. Kennedy never got oddballs singing about him, and he was pretty sexy. Yes, I’m talking about John, not Ted.

Then again, in Kennedy’s time, there was no YouTube, and with no YouTube, there was no outlet for anybody to publicize what other people know as inner monologue.

It gets even better, though, when everybody decides to sue for irreparable damages.

Ghyslain Raza, better known as “Star Wars Kid,” decided it’d be neat to record his homage to George Lucas’ handiwork over his school football team’s practice tape.

When the video went public, Raza tried to sue YouTube, only to gain considerable publicity for his stellar moves and handling of his light saber.

This one was actually funny. Funny, not because of his undeniable wit, but because it’s so reminiscent of what your little brother would do if left home alone.

Still, not exactly the sign of prodigal talent waiting to be discovered.

Now, I’m off to tape myself making dinner. I want to be famous too.

Crocker can rest assured, I’m leaving Britney alone now.

Promise!