I don’t feel funny this week. What I feel is uneasy. Every so often the cosmos conspire to remind us that although we live oceans away from war zones and persecution, cities away from gang wars and terrorism targets, snuggly nestled in the comfort of the college setting, nowhere is truly safe.

As an overprotective sister and friend, I know what it’s like to torture myself over my brothers coming home too late or my friends making poor decisions. But in light of the events of late, I can see that I only experience a fraction of the anxiety a concerned parent does every time they let their child out of their sight. As I sit contemplating the overwhelming idea that I cannot always protect the people I love from wanton hate or freak accidents, I begin to understand what I’ve put my own parents through. Suddenly, the cold greeting that awaited me every time I stayed out all night and was caught sneaking in the back door seems kind and loving in comparison with what I’d carelessly put my mother through mentally.

Personally, I don’t like children and for that reason probably won’t have any. But even if I did like children, I doubt I could overcome the fear and mistrust of the world enough to feel comfortable bringing any into it. I think the need to reproduce is so biologically and socially ingrained in most people that they are spared the stress that results from analyzing what they are doing.

Beyond the helplessness to protect your offspring, how can anyone feel secure in raising a child? There is no formula for child rearing. I would lay awake wondering who I was raising, what I was raising. Will my parenting produce an intolerant snob? A needy brat? A killer? Or, God forbid, a conservative?

Every year, endless amounts of research is done on the effectiveness of various parenting styles. Young parents today are raising a generation of children on bribery. By constantly offering rewards to kids for good behavior that should be expected not requested, they’re creating an army of brats with what experts call “a sense of entitlement.” What will become of youngsters who can only be expected to perform if they are promised something in return? What ramifications follow from creating a generational mindset devoid of personal restraint or self sacrifice?

It makes me wonder what the parenting trends were when we were young. And what they will be when the kids I grew up with are having kids of their own. I’m not optimistic, but I can dream. Maybe my generation will wise up. Maybe we’ll raise kids who know the value of tolerance and pride and peace. Maybe our kids will feel loved and valued enough to abstain from mindless violence and abusive relationships with people and drugs and alcohol. Maybe people who shouldn’t have kids will realize it in time, rather than plaguing themselves, their child and society with another parenting experiment based on incompetence. That would be nice. It may never happen. But I can dream.