The Northern Star published my statement of intent last Tuesday. To briefly recap, I said I would try my darnedest to bring something a bit better than just aimless rhetoric to the sixth page of this paper. I am unsure how to think of my possible success or failure at that so far, so if any readers have opinions, won’t you please write us?

Besides that, I should have stated that I believe in doing all the good I can whenever I can, so today, I devote this space to not only giving my opinion, but to helping other people put forth their own. I do this because I don’t honestly think nine out of 10 people you run into on the street actually have opinions any longer. They have what I shall call “non-opinions.”

Allow me to define.

The non-opinion is a slippery and deceptive creature that takes up residence inside the healthy head of an otherwise very thoughtful person. Because of our youth and our receptive nature, we college students are particularly at risk for contracting this vicious brand of parasite.

The non-opinion is contagious, and transmitted by exposure to any number of things, among them selected news stories, columns (yes, even this one), radio news programs, things your professors say and stuff you read on the Internet. “Studies” are also quite virulent when it comes to non-opinions.

The most infection comes from running into someone who presents their non-opinion to you face-to-face.

The non-opinion is born of a narrow and poorly-presented cluster of facts, not-quite-facts, hearsay, or somebody else’s interpretation of facts that they did not gather themselves. If you are at home right now, you can very easily catch a non-opinion right this moment.

Go ahead – turn on CNN, or turn your radio or Internet browser to pick up National Public Radio, or if by some miracle you have the DeKalb Chronicle or another publication handy, go ahead and open it up to Ann Coulter’s or somebody else’s column. Fox News Network is the best place for non-opinions, based on the volume you can pick up and how accessible it is to everyone all of the time.

A favorite non-opinion of my own is that “liberals want us to lose the war.” Another is that “conservatives are all racist born-agains.” There are all sorts of non-opinions floating around about China and how it is trying to conquer the world, and about Palestine and how it must not want peace based the its often-hostile relations with Israel.

The non-opinion is unique among ailments in that it is also kind of addictive. Having one and opening the mouth to spread it to others fills the afflicted person with a sense of self-importance. This is a bad side effect of the non-opinion nesting firmly in the brain.

Sometimes a real opinion and a non-opinion are hard to distinguish, but don’t worry! There is a good way to diagnose one, and I’ll even tell you how. Whenever somebody makes what sounds like a highly opinionated statement – oh, let’s think of an example:

“Shakespeare is overrated … “

… simply respond with any variation on the following questions:

“Where did you hear that?/Who did you hear that from?”

“Did you see that for yourself?”

“Do you know that for sure?”

“What are you basing that off of?”

A person with a genuine opinion will warm to the conversation and explain himself or herself, and you just might learn something.

A person afflicted with a non-opinion will instantly become vague, unclear or even self-contradictory as they struggle to remember where they came up with their viewpoint.

Unfortunately, many of us have fallen in with non-opinions. It is a daily struggle for me to try to identify and cast aside my own non-opinions. It is a rough, hard battle that requires honesty to oneself and the responsibility to become either informed on a topic or to forfeit your turn in speaking because you know you lack authority.

Fortunately, though non-opinions are persistent and nasty bugs, they can be removed. Be wary of things people or news organizations say to you. Check out where they’re getting these facts and opinions from, and decide for yourself which ones you believe, and what you think of them.

Also, do your utmost to stop the flow of non-opinions from the only source over which you have control: yourself.