Apparently, it is quite a lot of work to pull out your debit card, swipe it and punch in your PIN number. The last time I accomplished this task, I was drenched in sweat and my muscles were on fire. And god forbid I should have to count out actual dollars.

Jewel officials must think buying stuff is a lot of work, because they recently launched a partnership with the “Pay By Touch” system, whereby someone can merely place his or her forefinger on a touch pad and immediately be connected to a bank account … because buying that six-pack is hard enough already.

Even the Jewel in DeKalb has jumped on the Pay By Touch system.

Trying to quell fears of an Orwellian grocery universe, Jewel and Pay By Touch officials insist the system doesn’t use a fingerprint. It uses “hundreds of data points” from the spacing and curves of the lines in one’s finger.

Um, what is a fingerprint again?

Besides the dubious terminology of Jewel’s spin doctors, there are a couple of other problems with this foray into biometrics.

First, it appears this new system is entirely unnecessary. A shopper would still have to enter a seven-digit search number, so the time shaved off by this procedure would be almost minimal. While Jewel claims people would no longer have to “fumble” with purses or wallets, I think this benefit is also negligible. People would still have to “fumble” to retrieve coupons or keys for that bag of crackers to calm down young Jimmy. They would still have to “fumble” to take off gloves.

It’s good for people to move! A majority of Americans are overweight, largely because they hardly have to lift a finger — well, in Jewel’s case, they’d have to lift one finger, but that’s it.

Every task in the world should not be made effortless. Using a debit or credit card is already pretty effortless. Just think, our ancestors once were weighed down with heavy coins needed to purchase goods. I can only imagine what a strain that put on their bodies.

Jewel’s storing of our fingerprint — sorry, Jewel, but that’s what it is — is strangely insidious, especially because that information would be connected to our bank accounts. Although the information is supposed to be encrypted, a little slip up on Jewel’s part, or a little ingenuity on a hacker’s part, could possibly break the system. Wherever there is database of information, hackers can get into it. More legitimately, marketers will use information in the database. Does Jewel or one of its associates really need to have that much information about people?

A couple of years ago, Japanese researchers announced they could create false fingertips from gelatin molds and even from prints lifted from glass. A fingerprint security system is hardly foolproof.

But you know what? ATM and credit cards are not exactly bastions of safety either, as evidenced by recent security breaches at Office Max and Citi Cards.

Maybe using actual currency isn’t so strenuous. And as for Jewel and Pay By Touch, let’s just say I’m keeping my hands to myself.