Norden Gilbert, University Council member

Ben Thomas, Program Services Aide

Together: 13 years

Gilbert and Thomas met at a bar in Rockford. Though neither were typical bar-goers, friends convinced them to go out that night.

“As soon as I walked in and saw him, I turned to my friend and said ‘I’m not leaving until I at least get to talk to that man,'” Thomas said.

And so began a game of cat and mouse.

After a long night without meeting, Thomas was ready to give up and told his friend so, unaware Gilbert was standing behind him. They ended up talking until the bar closed.

“It was kind of fate because it was not the kind of thing either one of us tended to do, but we were there that night and found each other,” Gilbert said.

Since then the two have bought a dog and moved in together, living close enough to walk to work hand in hand.

Judy Santacaterina, adviser, College of Liberal Arts and Sciences

Matt Swan, communication instructor

Married: 14 years

Santacaterina and Swan met at a speech tournament in 1980. Swan was the speech coach for Rock Valley College and Santacaterina for NIU.

The romance began in 1990 when Santacaterina invited Swan over for dinner. Two years later, they were married.

The Rock Valley tournament, which takes place annually, holds strong in Santacaterina’s memory.

“I met Matt there in 1980 and I can remember every year going to that tournament and hoping I would see him,” Santacaterina said. “Even when we weren’t dating, he was in the back of my mind.”

Though the two think they are compatible, they have one major disagreement.

“My husband needs to change his allegiance to a baseball team,” Santacaterina, who is a White Sox fan, said.

Swan agrees the major difference in the union is the competing baseball teams.

“That’s our difference. White Sox and Cubs,” Swan said.

Margie Cook, director, LGBT Resource Center

Mary Shelden, external programs coordinator, College of LA&S

Together: 9 years

Cook and Shelden celebrate their ninth anniversary today. The two were teaching assistants in the women’s studies department when they met, though they had been friends for months before they went on their first date to a Valentine’s Day Gala in 1997.

“We knew pretty early on that this relationship was special and serious.” Cook said. “We each felt like we found the person we were looking for. We were dating each other exclusively right from the start.”

The couple endured an early test when Shelden’s mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and Shelden decided to return to California to care for her. Cook made the decision to go with her.

“That was an indicator of her commitment and also of her amazing compassion,” Shelden said.

Both feel lucky for what they have found together.

“We try never to lose sight of what we have together and our appreciation for what we’ve found,” Cook said.

The couple is making plans for a covenant ceremony.