For all of you out there who drive Dodge Neons, you may want to stop reading right now. With that warning out of the way … the Dodge Neon is dead and I’m ecstatic. This Friday, the last mistake will roll off the Belvidere assembly line, to be replaced by the Caliber. More on that later.

Now I’m not going to lie and say the, “Hi” marketing campaign of the first-gen Neon didn’t make me like the car. As a fourth grader, I loved the sight of that happy face rolling through green meadows. It said of the driver, “Look at me, I’m having a good day.” Effervescent is the right word.

Too bad there was no way to anticipate how extraordinarily fast the design would date. And then again, how uninspired the redesign would be. On a number of levels, the car was just wrong.

Reason one: Cute designs don’t sell anymore. Call it penile compensation, but aggression sells – in two different ways. People like credible four-wheel drives and ground-scraping sedans and coupes. The Neon was an oddball, sitting somewhere between the two. Even the SRT-4 iteration, with its lower ride and larger wheels, looked like it was balancing on its toes. Not that it was wholly a bad car, just that the RSX Type-S, Golf GTI and Focus SVT played the part more convincingly.

Reason two: Roughly related to the penile compensation theme, the Neon was a horrible canvas for the import-loyal crowd. No matter what wheels, trick-lights or paint schemes were slapped on, it still looked like a Neon. As the Honda Civic’s ride height drops, its wedge shape sharpens and it disguises its humble roots. But the Neon still looks like a lump. Driving a buzzy lump not only fails to attract members of the opposite sex, but it also looks funny at the starting line.

Reason Three: The interior is abominable. Fisher-Price toys are made of higher quality plastics. Tap your fingernail on the dash. That nasty clicking sound could induce seizures in the offices of other companies. The seats are flat and hard, and the drone of the rough engine fills the cabin. Panel fitment challenges only the likes of pickups.

And so it is dead, with a replacement in the pipeline. Judging by the pictures and preliminary analysis in various auto magazines, the Caliber should be the next biggest success for Dodge. Even in modified form, it is obviously not a car for carving corners. Nevermind that, Dodge just needs a good, small car.

Calibers have been seen tooling around the Rock River Valley area, and most accounts liken it to the Pontiac Vibe. But there is a key difference – the Caliber is actually great to look at. For occupying such a small space and sporting a non-sporting overall height, it looks fast. Not aggressive, but fast. It sits on 19-inch wheels housed in exaggerated wheel arches. The glass pinches at the rear, but opens up as it moves forward into a steeply raked windshield. So the design ingredients are all accounted for. What about power?

The rumor mill reports the top-of-the-line version could have more than 230 horsepower. It won’t struggle to keep pace with traffic. And of course, it comes with more economical options as well.

I’m not sure what to be more excited about – a promising new car or the death of something many already considered deceased. Either way, the $419 million commitment of retooling the factory could lead to as many as 1000 new union jobs for the Valley. For an area hard hit by the less-than-stellar economy, the Caliber is only good news.