This coming weekend, I’m getting behind the wheel of my car, taking Route 88 to 39 to 74 and heading down to the University of Illinois to see Taking Back Sunday and Jimmy Eat World, one of my favorite bands ever, co-headline a show at Assembly Hall. This is the first show that I’ve been to in about three months that I don’t have to cover or take pictures for, so I’m pumped up and ready to lose my voice. That being said, I’ve decided to share with you the rules for concert going. Some of these are implied while others may be new to you, so take notes if you feel it’s necessary.

1. Driving to the Show – Whatever show you are going to, it’s a general understanding that you don’t listen to who you are going to see. I’ve been to many a Dave Matthews Band shows and have seen people driving through the parking lot of the amphitheater cranking their favorite DMB tune. This always struck me as odd seeing as in about an hour, they would more than likely hear the exact song they were just listening to, the only difference being they are hearing a live version instead of the album version. There is no point to that whatsoever. Listen to something within the same genre, but never the same artist of who you are going to see. Besides, you’ll be singing along while they rock out.

2. Attire – Dress according to two things; the first is the weather and the second is the venue. If it’s hot outside and you’re going to the House of Blues, wear something light and breathable. Indoor venues get very hot in the summer months no matter how low they turn the air conditioning. If it’s cold outside and the concert is inside, bring a hoodie, never a coat. Hoodies are much easier to carry around and if needed, you can slip back to 1992 and tie it around your waist and relive the grunge days. If you are outside in the summertime, again, dress according to the weather. Remember, summer nights can get cool and by the time you leave, you may be freezing if you wear those little cut off shorts, ladies.

And please, please, please, never ever wear the shirt of the band or artist you are going to see. No. Never. Don’t be that guy. Wear something in the same genre. Seeing a punk band? Wear a different punk band’s shirt or if you want to pay homage to those before them, wear a Cure or Smiths shirt. People will appreciate those shirts.

3. Merchandise – Also known as merch area or the merch table, this is where you go to pick up t-shirts, buttons, stickers and albums, but if you have to buy the album of the headliner, you really shouldn’t be at the show. The only exception to this is if there is a rare album that is only available at live shows. It happens on certain tours, so be on the lookout. Opening acts tend to hit the merch area after their set and meet fans and sign autographs as well. On certain tours with certain bands, prices for merch goes down during the show when lines are the shortest.

4. Drinking – If you are going to drink at a show, be responsible about it. Lots of people like to pre-game in the parking lot, especially in the summer months at outdoor venues mainly because the venues want about $7 for a beer. Good luck getting that out of me. Personally, I don’t drink at venues because of the price and because I am there to see the artist and not drink. If I wanted to drink while listening to their music, I would sit home on my couch and drink while listening to their album. Don’t be that drunk guy that gets hammered and then yells at everyone around him and starts hugging people. Thanks, big sweaty guy, but I’m good, really. Don’t touch me.

5. The People Next to You – Whether it’s a general admission show (everyone is standing) or you actually have seats, get to know the people around you. Why, you ask? Because these are the people you will be singing along with and bumping into for the next two to four hours or however long the show is. Share past concert experiences. Share stories. If you are a die-hard fan of the artist and singing along to songs they have never heard before, lean over and tell them title of it. If the people around you don’t want to talk, that’s their loss. Nuts to them. At least you were trying to be nice.

6. No Yelling Songs – Simple enough, right? One would think so, but the first time I saw John Mayer, the girls behind me wouldn’t stop screaming for “You Body is a Wonderland” and when Mayer played it, they thought all their yelling paid off. Sadly, they were mistaken. Artists will more than likely always play their radio hits. Most of them work them into the encore or play them later in the set. Mayer opened his show with “No Such Thing” when I saw him and I thought it was an incredibly ballsy move. The more I thought about it though, I realized he was getting rid of the radio fans that came to hear that song and only that song.

7. Don’t Overpower the Lead Singer – That is, unless he or she asks you to. Chris Carrabba opens every Dashboard Confessional show by asking “are you guys ready to try one?” and then launches into a song and the audience is right there with him, singing along with every word. At certain points in a song, he’ll completely step away from the microphone and let the audience sing an entire verse or chorus to a song he wrote. Don’t sing so loud that the people around you hear you instead of the artist on the stage. That also gets very annoying, very fast. When an artist is on stage, they want to sing their heart out. It’s therapy for them, so don’t intervene and take over. If they want you to sing, they will let you know by saying something along the lines of “you know the words” or “sing along.”

8. Meet and Greet – If you are able to meet a member of the band or an artist after the show, don’t freak out and cry and mumble your words and turn into a giant puddle of whimpering loserness. No one wants to see that, especially the artist, and when you look back on it, you’ll feel like a schmuck. Always ask to take a picture; never assume it. Camera flashes can annoy artists after a while and remember, they just got off a stage with lights glaring on them for about two hours. Don’t ask for 18 autographs either. One, two at the most and that’s it. Say something encouraging, tell them what you thought of the show and thank them for coming to the city. They want to know that they can feel at home no matter where they are. If your friend missed the show, don’t call them on your cell phone and then hand the phone to the artist. It’s more awkward for the artist than anyone else to be talking to someone they don’t know. Also, don’t feel rejected if an artist spends 30 seconds talking to you and five minutes talking to someone else. Even though they play major cities every night, some bands and artists know people who are good friends in every town and that night may be the only chance they’ll have to talk to them in months. Some artists remember faces and even names of certain fans, the true fans who have been with them from the very beginning, so don’t feel left out.

So now that we have cleared up a few things, enjoy the shows you see this summer and have fun. If you think about it, it’s all about the music. No one is going to a show to have a bad time and yell things and piss people off on purpose. So if you see someone who is having a bad time, ask them what’s wrong and see if you can buy them a $7 beer.