“Guys, this is a very special occasion. ‘The Godfather’ himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps 20 feet away.”

– Beanie (Vince Vaughn) from “Old School”

Sweeps has been greatly disappointed by the lack of reader involvement lately. Shallow Thoughts have become even shallower, and people run away from Greg Feltes when he is out doing “Catch of the Day.” (Although that might have something to do with asking what random object you would beat someone to death with.) Something drastic has to be done.

With that in mind, Sweeps is proud to announce its very first contest, which is a combination of “American Idol,” “Win Ben Stein’s Money,” “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” and “Old School.”

In fact, Feltes has put up his very own not-so-crisp $10 bill as the prize for the greatest Star search in the history of time.

We are-get ready for this-looking for NIU’s version of “The Godfather.”

We are not talking Marlon Brando circa 1972 here. We are looking for the NIU equivalent of Luke Wilson’s character from the instant classic “Old School.”

For those unfamiliar with the movie, Wilson plays Mitch Martin, whose personal life is turned upside down when his nymphomaniac girlfriend cheats on him. Mitch relocates to a new home on a college campus and, along with his friends, starts an unofficial fraternity composed of loser college students and old people trying to recapture their youth. At first, Mitch begrudgingly accepts his new role, but eventually accepts his destiny, becomes “The Godfather,” tells off his boss, gets the girl and defeats a crusty dean.

Starting today, Sweeps is accepting mini-essays of 100 words or less. The topic? What makes you NIU’s “Godfather”?

What we are looking for is a person who runs the show; a rabble rouser who can turn any group of misfits into the campus’ social elite, a legend who takes smoothness to the next level and can get free food and drinks for people they don’t even know. This, my friends, is “The Godfather.”

Your 100 words or less can be about anything. You can write a story about a past triumph over lameness, a brief resumé of accomplishments, what you think the role entails and why you fit it or just beg. A funny or cool picture will definitely help your cause.

In other words, we are looking for something that makes us say, “And that’s why they call him ‘The Godfather.’”

But you don’t have to be a him to win. Ladies are welcome to apply as well. You don’t have to be a member of a fraternity either. The conditions are as follows: you have to be an NIU student, your plea absolutely has to be longer than 100 words, there can be no profanity in submissions and friends and family of the panel, as well as Northern Star employees, are not eligible to win.

The Sweeps staff will convene to sort out the essays and pick a winner. The deadline is noon Friday. By submitting an entry, you are agreeing to let your submission be printed in the Northern Star.

If you wish to, you can nominate a fellow student, but the same criteria apply and they have to agree to be featured in the Star.

The winner will receive the aforementioned cash, be featured in next Monday’s Sweeps and, most importantly, earn the title of “NIU’s Godfather.”

Send submissions to [email protected] or drop them off at the Campus Life Building, Suite 130. Again, pictures are welcome. Please include your name, year, major, phone number, mailing address and e-mail address.

Good luck, although the true NIU “Godfather” will not need it.