Rocket falters against husky

By Mark Pietrowski

A matchup for the ages will be transmitted on ESPN2 at 6:35 p.m. today from Huskie Stadium.

The contest between the NIU Huskies and the Toledo Rockets is a huge event, with the MAC West conference title belonging to NIU if it wins.

The Rockets have won the last 10 meetings between the two teams.

What about the mascots, though? Can a husky really expect to defeat a rocket capable of creating mass destruction?

Senior English major Heather Neuman-Nelson doesn’t seem to think a husky would have a chance against a rocket.

“I think a rocket would win that little match, space travel vs. fur,” Neuman-Nelson said.

Jason Kazmierczak, a junior political science major, showed his husky pride believing that the husky would have a shot against a rocket.

“If it was a small rocket, the husky could chew it to pieces and run around with it in its mouth,” Kazmierczak said.

Sweeps turned to physics professor Mike Fortner to hear his take on a husky against a rocket.

Fortner defined a rocket as something that is run by either solid fuel or liquid fuel.

“In all cases, it’s the gas that comes out of the exhaust that propels the rocket forward; without it, the rocket is just a container,” Fortner said. “You can even go buy a toy pump rocket at Wal-Mart and launch it.”

Can the husky leap over the rocket to a victory?

“I can imagine if one of those toy rockets were propelled in a backyard and a dog saw it go land, a well-trained dog would go fetch it,” Fortner said. “We didn’t say it had to be a NASA rocket. It can be a plastic one.”

Final verdict: The husky manages to fetch the rocket and bury it in the ground alongside last week’s Ball State Cardinal. Unless, of course, it is a Scud missile, in which case, the fur would fly.

Reporter’s note: No sky rockets went into flight and there was partaking of afternoon delight in the writing of this article.