Watching my grandpa go in and out of the hospital these past couple weeks, I’ve been reminded of just how much we can’t hide from the truth. We’d recognized for a long time that he wasn’t well; we just didn’t know the extent to which it had progressed.

This weekend, our worst fears were realized when we were told his cancer is terminal, giving him, at the most, a year of quality time.

Sunday, my sister and her 12-year-old son went to visit him in the hospital. Everyone was emotional enough already, but then my grandpa pulled my nephew aside and said, “See? Everyone’s got to die.” At this, my nephew broke down into tears.

Maybe it was too much. After all, the image of his great-grandfather lying in a hospital bed was probably more than enough to convey the message. It seemed as if the affirmation hurt him most of all.

Could it – should it – have gone without saying? Should we really put kids in situations when they’re not emotionally ready for it? Should we make them face reality?

The truth hurts sometimes, but so does candy-coating an issue. Avoiding the issue or simplifying it only shows that we are questioning kids’ abilities to comprehend, and kids have an uncanny intuition – they can tell whether or not we’re lying.

But even so, just as there is a time and a place to treat them like the responsible adults we wish them to be one day, there is also a time and a place to just let them be kids. Overwhelming them with reality may make them forget their innocence and, as a result, make them bitter at an early age.

I’m an aunt to four boys, and three of them have come to me at least once or twice with questions I’ve been unable to answer right away. Not being a parent myself, it’s awkward to be placed in that authoritative position. Do I make up something to satisfy their curiosity? Or do I simply tell them to come to me later when I am better able to give them the information they seek?

I always opt for the latter, and they do come back, because their trust in me as a credible source of information has been solidified.

There is only so much we can do for children as they grow older. Media will begin to play a bigger role in their lives. So will their friends. They will be bombarded with a variety of different viewpoints and eventually have to decide for themselves what is true and what is false. But if they trust that the adults in their life will always be honest with them, differentiating between the two should become much easier.

Until that point, children deserve as much credit as any adult, and that means being told the truth.

Before you talk with them, though, think it out. Do some research, if need be. Consider their possible reactions as well as your own. Try not to act on emotion. You know your kids better than anyone else, and if you are honest and secure in your values, they will come back to talk to you again and again.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.