As the school year slowly wittles away, the residents of Grant North 4A find their own college experiences reflecting those of other incoming college students.

Indigestion and other gross cafeteria stories with Raya.

Cafeteria food performs a certain illustrious magic; it looks so different and appetizing. Yet regardless of whether it’s an ice cream cone or taco salad, it still tastes like it could survive a nuclear war.

“I’ll throw a hamburger on the ground and it will bounce right back up,” said freshman undeclared major Jesus Raya.

Raya said he has braved the perils of campus dining – Stevenson Dining, Grant North Grill and the Douglas Dogpound – and lived to tell the tale, suffering only limited casualties in the bowel department.

“You eat like three times a day and expect to take a crap like 21 times a week,” Raya said.

In a stormy sea, Lighthall stays afloat.

Sophomore meteorology major Rick Lighthall has so far kept his grade point average afloat in a sea of calculus and science.

Lighthall actually begged his parents for more NIU after academic probation nearly curbed his very appearance at this school … and in this column.

“I’m keeping up my grades and standing in-line,” Lighthall said.

But simultaneously, Lighthall said he has had more than his share of fun.

At last Saturday’s football game, Lighthall almost lost his voice in the triumphant Huskie victory.

And in two weeks, he said the Bowling Green game will be huge.

Young Love

The allure of fresh faces and hot bodies always excites freshmen hormones. Thus, the free boxes of condoms and lube.

Packed together like sardines in a can, incoming freshmen learn to live door-to-door and bed-to-bed, often for the very first time.

To some, the result is a surefire Cupid’s arrow – hooking-up, dating and friendly advances.

To others, well, Cupid’s arrow unfortunately strikes the most tender and awkward notes.

“People want relationships, but they don’t know how the other person feels,” said sophomore accounting major Jollene Wick. “They also don’t want to make other people feel awkward because you’re in a new environment and you’re trying to figure out what really is.”

Aren’t we all?