Culture extends beyond color lines

By Kiarri Andrews

Young, gifted and black – the three words in combination present a curious set of obstacles. There is the constant battle at play to be accepted in a world in which I am the minority and in another world in which I may not be accepted for achieving great things in the first world.

At the same time, these two worlds must collide – and come to coexist – within me. There are the expectations from those around me and from those I have yet to meet. They expect I will be witty, mature and open-minded; instead, I am often attacked by forces that possess none of these attributes.

So, at the end of the day, I am faced with the decision of how to continue. How do I resolve the war between two worlds? It is difficult to maintain my optimism in the face of an endless barrage of expectations that I’m not sure I will be able to appease.

How can I go on being fun-loving in the face of internal conflict? Imagine taking all of the aforementioned pressures and multiplying them by your own insecurities and fears. I am often left bruised and battered by what I experience during the course of a day. Occasionally, I feel like my soul is weary.

The conflict reaches a boiling point when I sometimes find myself to be the only black person in a given situation.

Now, you may say I placed myself in those situations, and you are partially right. But if I did not do so, who would? Am I supposed to sit idly and watch as opportunities for knowledge pass me by because I’m afraid of what my black friends might say?

The issue of not being “black enough” has come up more than once. However, the allegations are always made indirectly – side glances my way instead of overt comments. I’m judged without being confronted – and given an opportunity to respond.

Perhaps what some fail to understand is that before I am anything else, I am a black man. I know and adore my roots, but I also know of the tree that’s meant to sprout from them. I don’t want to tell my children I could have opened my mind further – and expanded the considerations of other close-minded individuals – but didn’t simply because I was scared of what people might say.

So I have resolved to please only myself. What society wants me to be and what others expect me to conform to aren’t who I am. Life for me has only just begun, so I vow to leave myself room to make mistakes.

I am black and proud, but my skin tone and history will free me. Those two things will allow me to be a part of all that may occur within my sight.

Furthermore, other people’s fears of what they don’t understand no longer will prevent me from exploring and learning. I have allowed my own desires to take a ritual second place setting because I so often have been overwhelmed by others’ doubts.

Well, no more! In the words of Lorraine Hansberry: “This nation needs your gifts. Perfect them!”

I fully intend to.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.