Husky tangoes with a bird
September 17, 2004
Editors Note: Every Friday before NIU football games, Sweeps will bring you the real matchups that matter, like which team mascot would win in a street fight.
This Saturday, NIU travels to Iowa, the state where entertainment abounds, to face-off against the Iowa State Cyclones.
People might ask themselves, how can a husky possibly expect to defeat a storm system as powerful as a cyclone?
A storm system like that hasn’t been beaten in a straight-up fight since Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt tag-teamed an F-5 tornado in the 1996 blockbuster “Twister.”
According to www.cyclones.com, Iowa State would have been nicknamed the Tornadoes if the United States Weather Service knew a little more about climatology during 1895, when the nickname Cyclones was adopted.
It’s a good thing that the actual mascot of Iowa State University is a cardinal-like bird.
Freshman physical therapy major Jeff Scheirer thought really hard over which mascot would win in a fight.
“I’m conflicted,” Scheirer said. “I want to go with the husky, but I’m a St. Louis Cardinals fan. In this case since it’s only a cardinal-like bird, the husky would win.”
Kerri Kolacinski, an employee of Pets and More, 432 N. Main St. in Sycamore, was eager to share her thoughts on this battle, while dogs barked uncontrollably in the background, presumably voicing their support for the husky.
“Huskies are good at targeting and can usually pick an object and catch it,” Kolacinski reasoned. “While birds can easily maneuver around and go through obstacles.”
Birds may be able to maneuver well in normal weather conditions, but this battle takes place during a cyclone.
“The severe weather would definitely cause the bird to be grounded,” Kolacinski said.
The bird might be grounded, but how would the husky handle the storm?
“Huskies are not easily intimidated, so they could handle severe weather and stand strong,” she said.
So who would win in this epic battle of mascots?
Junior finance major Ryan Ortiz seems to sum it up best.
“I think the husky would beat the s— out of it and then eat it,” Ortiz said.
Final verdict: Husky easily defeats the defenseless cardinal-like-bird, using it as a chew toy.
Editors Note: No animals or weather formations were harmed in the writing of this article.