Love can be wonderful and extremely gratifying. It can elevate you to a higher level, and it always teaches you something beneficial. But it also can be dangerous. Entering a relationship and opening yourself to that emotion has the potential to lead to such a profound pain that it may take months or even years to heal.

So we are often faced with the question: Is it worth it? Should you give away your heart or keep it protected from the treacherous terrain? Love is always going to be a risk, no matter how disappointing that may seem. But there are a few things you can do to ensure your stability. These tips aren’t foolproof, but they certainly can help you in your search.

First things first: Break habits. If you find yourself in the same situation and dealing with the same kind of man or woman repeatedly, look into yourself and reassess who you are and what you want. There is something inside you that is attracted to those negative characteristics. You can’t affect any change from the outside looking in; you must start from the inside out.

Next: Don’t fool yourself. There may be occasions when you believe you can change someone – but perhaps you are giving someone too much credit where credit isn’t due. Don’t assume your prospective partner has any attributes they haven’t displayed previously. Honesty, trust and respect are earned, not given. If someone will lie to God, do you really think they won’t lie to you? Be truthful to yourself first; it will save you from making more mistakes than you know.

Next: Know who you are. When that special someone tells you something that doesn’t quite add up, do the math for yourself. The ever-popular “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I just need space and time” lines are lines for a reason. They have been used by people for decades as a mask for insecurity, fear – or just an easy exit. Don’t believe everything! Of course, it’s not you – or not all you, anyway! If you know you’ve given all you have or if your happiness is derivative of their happiness, you are not at fault for anything.

Finally: Never look to someone to complete you. You must be whole within yourself, not in search of another half. When you go in search of that, you’re already proving you’re not secure in who you are.

A comprehensive list of tips for love could go on and on. But these few, simple guidelines seem to be the most important – and least often remembered.

Is it worth the risk? Only you can decide for sure.

Usually, it is. Sometimes, it’s not.

But never be afraid to love. Never close yourself off to the possibility of love. And if you find it and it’s not what you want or need it to be, take what you can from it and let it go.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.