“What?! … How could you? … She is my sister!”

Sound familiar?

It appears the cell phone fad has reached an “Outbreak”-style infection, and the people using them consider the world their own private confessionary.

Walking through campus, one can breeze by various conversations about adultery, scandal, intrigue and, ever so often, erotica.

-Our culture, ever present with technology and reality shows, has made it easy for pedestrians to feel comfortable talking about the most private things in public areas.

The Huskie Line always is riddled with the latest gossip. One often finds someone on the verge of tears while cradling her new photo phone that can surf the net, tell you movie times, calculate your tip but still won’t be able to console you when your boyfriend breaks up with you.

Of course, there is the ever-present “middle of the class” phone call with the rings that range from mediocre rap songs to downright awful renditions of “Get Down Tonight” by KC and the Sunshine Band.

A new phenomenon has people answering their phones in movie theaters. In the past year, I’ve heard, on seven different occasions, “Hello? Naw man, I’m just watching a movie. What’s up with you?”

It appears the dancing popcorn and its Mountain Dew-drinking cousin that preaches “Silence is Golden” has taught us nothing.

The second-worst place to accept a call is in the bathroom when there’s only one other person in there with you. It puts those people in a tight spot because they don’t know if you’re talking to them or not, which creates a “Three’s Company”-type event where you may be talking about how big your golf club is, but the other bathroom patrons don’t know that.

The absolute worst moment in cell phone history happened this past Sunday at The Forcast concert at The House, 263 E. Lincoln Highway. The bassist, Marsha, actually used her cell phone on stage.

I can’t imagine someone giving a piano recital and resorting to one hand as he or she answers a cell phone, but with this new-proposed team-up with Verizon Wireless and Information Technology Services to distribute cell phones on campus, it’s not far off.

Officials from Verizon Wireless were unavailable for comment, but Walter Czerniak, associate vice president of ITS, was glad to shed some light on the proposed future.

“We’re not seeing this as making a huge difference immediately,” he said. “This plan has been in contract negotiations for about a year and a half.”

Some of the finer details have been harder to agree on.

“Part of the contract is so the equipment doesn’t look obnoxious,” he added.

He also admitted that they will be noticeable, at least the large antennas, but promised they will be prettier than the unsightly one near the stadium.

This deal will provide lower rates, cheaper phones and shorter contracts for students, which will increase the one-sided sob stories, annoying ring tones and aggravation to everyone within earshot.