I think it’s safe to say Michael Crichton has inherited the Stephen King curse.

Ten-plus movies have been made from his novels, and all of them are nearly forgettable. “Timeline,” the latest Crichton story to be adapted to the big screen, is no exception.

The beauty about Michael Crichton is that, upon reading his novels, you’re likely to learn something about science. After watching “Jurassic Park,” we walked away with at least a vague understanding of the cloning process. In “Timeline,” all the scientific knowledge is bypassed for something far less engaging: Third-rate medieval swashbuckling.

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Chris Johnston (Paul Walker) is the son of an archeology professor, a field Chris has no interest in. While he stubbornly refuses to follow in his father’s footsteps, he sure would like to lay one of his dad’s archeological employees, the uptight, innocent Kate Erickson (Frances O’Connor). Thus, Chris’ libido forces him into learning a bit about archeology to impress the uninterested Kate. And, in perfect Paul Walker lingo, “It sucks. It sucks big time.”

I have to admit I have not read the novel, but I have to believe that “sucks big time” is a phrase that would be difficult to find.

After the professor leaves the archeological dig site, the team discovers an ancient scroll that’s more than 600 years old. The real find — on the scroll is a handwritten note from the professor, signed in the year 1357! Before you know it, the team is flown to a top-secret laboratory, run by a company named International Technology Corp. With a name like that, they’re bound to be on the cutting edge of some big discovery.

Upon trying to develop technology that would allow them to fax a three-dimensional object across the world, and thus, “put UPS and FedEx out of business,” the company “accidentally discovered” a wormhole that can transport an object, or person, to 1357 France. The professor went back and never returned, and it’s up to his son, and the archeology team, to go back in time to retrieve him.

Of course, the team has loads of questions to ask before they are “painfully” sent back in time. Instead of answering their questions (not to mention those of the audience), the film jumps right into the idiotic hunt for the professor. We’re launched right into 1357, a time when the French apparently spoke more English than their own language.

Sure, the special effects in the battle scenes are realistic, but the sets being blown up are extremely phony. Our attention is drawn to the obvious props, ripping the suspense from the Hundred Years War the team is caught between.

Director Richard Donner had many struggles getting this film made revolving around the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. He was forced to move this production from country to country. This lack of stability can be seen in the lack of chemistry of any sort throughout the film. Every aspect of “Timeline” seems hard to believe, from the love story to the science to the action. It’s not as painful to watch as other Crichton films (“Congo,” “Sphere”), but it fails to live up to its potential.

If you’re looking for a science lesson, or to learn anything whatsoever, avoid “Timeline.” If you’re looking for mind-numbing, medieval action, this is your movie.

On second thought, you’re better off at Medieval Times.