I don’t need to be made to look evil. I can do that on my own.” – Christopher Walken

Tomorrow is a special day in the world of Greg Feltes.

You see, I am always so busy that I tend to focus in the new and stick with the present, but tomorrow is a day that has been marked on the Feltes calendar for months.

No, it’s not my 21st birthday and I’m not having sex. Better. It’s another chapter in the bizzaro career of one Christopher “I need more cowbell” Walken.

Tomorrow sees the release of “The Rundown.” The Rock and Stifler have top billing, but rest assured it is a Walken movie. Every movie he is in is a Walken movie.

I refuse to believe the manufactured origin story that permeates the internet.

Legend holds that he was born as Ronald Walken on March 31, 1943 to a German man named Paul and a Scottish lass named Rosalie. He lived a relatively normal childhood, aspiring to be a dancer until he caught the acting bug.

No. That’s what the man wants us to believe. Walken is really from another planet, like Superman. His planet was likely dying and his parents put him into a life pod and sent him off into the unknown. He eventually was discovered by Paul Walken and his wife, who adopted him and tried to hide his unique abilities. And now he has his own WB drama, “Walkenville.”

However, much like Superman, his abilities cannot be hidden – his star shines just too bright. There’s no other possible explanation for how a person so warped and demented could be so entertaining.

I’m not kidding. Check out his quote from imdb.com:

“I can’t imagine being somebody else. And anything I play, my reference is completely from the planet Show-business. I don’t know anything about anybody else, people that I’ve known all my life – my family, my brothers – I don’t know … I only know about me.”

Just where this planet Show-business was, I don’t know, but I am glad that Walken found his way home, because we’ve been treated to a body of work like no other.

I am convinced that Walken walks the Earth, like Caine in “KUNG FU,” walking set to set, meeting people, stumbling into adventures, saving the world. There’s no other way to explain how he is in so many movies, good and bad.

Walken appears in a ton of good movies. The list includes “Catch Me if You Can,” “Pulp Fiction,” “The Dead Zone” and “The Deer Hunter,” to name a few.

But the most fascinating thing about Walken is the inordinate amount of bad movies that he has appeared in: “Gigli,” “Kangaroo Jack,” “The Country Bears,” “Joe Dirt,” “America’s Sweethearts” and “Excess Baggage.” Some might call me a sadist, but I actively seek out these films on video. That way I can fast-forward to Walken and avoid, you know, the pure and utter crap that surrounds him.

Which category will the “Rundown” fall into? I don’t know and I don’t care, because Walken explains the concept of the tooth fairy to a group of men who don’t speak English. It’s not the glorious tale of a watch up some guy’s butt for five years, but it will do.