Michael Jackson reportedly has taken Martin Bashir hostage at his Neverland Ranch in California.

Bashir, documentary filmmaker and creator of the controversial “Living with Michael Jackson,” has been chained to a tree until he “says sorry and gives ‘The King of Pop’ a hug,” sources close to Jackson said.

Jackson is apparently angry about Bashir’s implied allegations of Jackson’s improper relations with children.

“Bashir likes to trick me,” Jackson told reporters. “He’s a bad, bad, bad man.”

Jackson is keeping watch over Bashir from a lookout situated at the top of a nearby tree.

Tommy Mottola, ex-CEO of Sony Records, may be Jackson’s next victim.

Mottola has challenged Jackson to a duel, but Jackson declined. However, he had a crafty look in his eyes that Jackson’s maid said means he is planning something “nasty.”

In other news, Jackson swears he has never had any plastic surgery at all.

“I look just the same as I did when I was younger,” he proclaimed Monday.

Editor’s Note: The information in the previous story is fictitious.