Dear Sir-Mix-A-Lot,

We, the predominantly thick-headed males of American society, thank you for displaying the jiggling female buttocks in such a beautiful, bouncy light.

We, the predominantly thick-headed males of American society, thank you for your insight into the female buttocks.

We, the predominantly thick-headed males of American society, thank you for making it socially acceptable for white guys like myself to lust after voluptuous, curvy women.

“Baby Got Back” was a decade ahead of what is now known as “the butt crack era.” In fact, “Baby Got Back” blazed paths for butt-shaking pioneers like Britney Spears, Shakira and Sisqo.

“The Thong Song” is nothing without its “Baby Got Back” predecessor. Therefore, Sisqo is nothing without you, Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

Sisqo, one truly great intellectual giant of the ’90s, owes everything to you, Sir-Mix-A-Lot. He, much like you, is long and strong, “down to get the friction on.”

Oh, Sir-Mix-A-Lot! It seems like just yesterday when MTV aired “Sisqo’s Shakedown,” a dancing contest worthy of the Roman Gladiators or perhaps ABC’s “Are You Hot?”

I remember your first inspiring words, Sir-Mix-A-Lot. You said, “I like big butts and I cannot lie.” Your verse came to me like a revelation. I immediately understood the booty. I understood measurements like 36-24-36 were only acceptable if you were 5-foot-3 inches tall.

How the clueless, self-promoting Grammy Board shamesters chose “The Bodyguard Soundtrack” over your “Mack Daddy” album in 1993 is a noggin scratcher.

M.O.O.S.E. toasts to you, Sir-Mix-A-Lot, master of the booty, poster boy of the posterior. Until next time my friend, my hero, my legend, I’ll be dialing 1-800-MIX-A-Lot and kicking dem nasty thoughts.

‘Cuz baby’s got back.

These babies

got back.