“Daredevil,” the story of a blind superhero’s quest for vengeance, is a bad movie for the following reasons:

1) Ben Affleck is not Daredevil anymore than George Clooney is Batman. Affleck, who might not pride himself on having both the sexual charm of an insect and the conviction of a Benny Hill testimonial, was out of place.

2) Character Development: “Daredevil” jumped around so quickly that the audience can never sympathize with any character for a time period longer than five minutes. Not that we wanted to, of course…

-3) Trite, predictable dialogue: Lines like “You killed the only two women I ever loved” and “Justice is never served” can gag themselves with a restraining order. Writers like Bill Everett (characters), Brian Helgeland (screenplay) and Mark Steven Johnson (screenplay) need to seek work in the soap opera circuit.

4) Daredevil has no cool superpowers: Spider-Man can websling, Batman has neat gadgets and the Hulk is a beast. Daredevil is a visually impaired superhero with other super senses. Super smell, super taste, super hearing. Face it: Daredevil’s super lame.

5) Daredevil does not fight a killer octopus or a stampeding elephant. These scenarios, yet completely unbelievable, would make for a much more entertaining film.

6) Unfortunate symbolism: A drawn-out church action sequence compares Bullseye (Colin Farrell) to Jesus Christ. Holy blasphemy Batman!

7) “IN YOUR FACE,” style direction: Matrix-wannabe fight sequences induced epileptic seizures.

8) Daredevil spent half the movie getting beaten up: Affleck was stabbed, cut and kicked around for the entirety of the film. C’mon Ben. You’re a superhero, toughen up.

9) The “Daredevil” Soundtrack lives up to the Spiderman tradition: Daredevil has better taste than to listen to Fuel, Nickelback, and Saliva.

Now that I’ve explained why “Daredevil” is a poor film, “Daredevil” is redeeming for the following reasons:

1) Colin Farrell is Bullseye. All the hype surrounding Farrell is for good reason. This kid can act – Farrell’s airplane scene reminds us why not to sit by bothersome old ladies.

2) Jennifer Garner is a beautiful woman. While her role, Elecktra Natchios (Electric Nachos?), might be bland, she’s pretty to look at.

3. Jennifer “Trust me! I am from the ‘hood,'” Lopez, and her famed asset didn’t cameo.

Nine to three – “Daredevil” loses in a landslide. Not even Superman could save this movie from Hollywood hell.