Every generation has an open wound.

World War II, among other atrocities, sent thousands of innocent Japanese into internment camps.

Josef Stalin murdered millions of his own people.

-The eighties gave us the New Kids on the Block.

They are a pimple, a blemish and a catalyst to the downfall of everything with a soul. They are the apple to our Eden.

How in the hell these clowns ever blew up the radio waves is beyond me. Maybe the universe aligned and by some freak accident of the cosmos, teenagers were drawn to the mystique of lame-ass wonder poop.

Rifling through my buddies’ movies last Tuesday, I ran into an official NKOTB tape. Drawn to the overwhelming magical power of Jordan Knight, Jonathan Knight, Joe McIntyre, Donnie Wahlberg and Danny Wood’s dashingly handsome good looks, the VHS found itself playing in the VCR.

Watching this tape was like having tea with Satan. But it was worse – Satan doesn’t wear a Satan hat.

Jordan, Jonathan, Joe, Donnie and Danny wore “New Kids On The Block” hats, just in case I mistook the video as a showcase for five OTHER shallow fakes.

After watching five minutes of the NKOTB video tape, I learned the following: They eat chicken backstage.

I want my five minutes back.

The New Kids On The Block, having a few top hits [such as “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” and “Hangin’ Tough”] died two albums after recording “Merry, Merry Christmas,” a failed Christmas album which, without a doubt, made baby Jesus cry.

NKOTB made sucking acceptable. And until Kurt Cobain shows up alive, guitar in hand, ready to rock us back into the stone age, boy bands like Linkin Park, *N SYNC and the Backstreet Boys will continue selling records.

The NKOTB legacy unfortunately will live on.

Decency, sadly, will not.