Gather ‘round , children. I’ve got a heartwarming story to tell.

A very good friend of mine, I’ll call her “Jane,” has been friends with “Beth” for years. Beth was a couple years older than Jane, but they still enjoyed each other’s company. They went to parties together, went shopping together and even dated some of the same guys. But Beth never seemed happy with any of her boyfriends.

Jane soon left for NIU, where I met her, and her friend Beth stayed behind in their small town before moving to Iowa for a job. They stayed close during that first year, with Beth coming up to visit occasionally. They would also call and write each other to keep up with things going on in their lives.

The end of Jane’s first year rolled around and she went back to her hometown. Beth was still working in Iowa and wrote to keep in touch. In these letters, Beth started complaining about a co-worker, Lori. Lori was a lesbian and was making advances toward Beth. Beth told Jane she didn’t know how to react to it.

One day, Jane decided to call Beth up in Iowa to see how things were going since it had been a while since Beth’s last letter. They talked for a while before Jane decided to ask if Beth’s co-worker Lori was still hitting on her. Beth was hesitant in answering, but finally told Jane that Lori had become her lover.

Jane was floored. She had known this girl all her life and never guessed she was a lesbian. After all, Beth dated guys in high school. Jane felt betrayed, in a sense she felt like she didn’t even know the girl who had been her friend for so long. She began to feel weird about all the times she had slept over at her house, or changed in front of her. Jane actually felt disgusted. All she could see in her mind was two women together in bed.

It took a long time for Jane to talk to Beth again. Beth tried to explain Jane that she was never happy with her boyfriends, that it never seemed right. She told Jane she was denying what she was, even when she started feeling attracted to Lori.

Jane still felt strange about it. But she decided to give Beth a chance, even agreeing to meet her lover. And when Jane met Lori and saw Beth and Lori together, she noticed something. She saw Beth was truly happy. Lori was not just a lover to Beth. She was also a friend, providing emotional support and love.

Jane was better able to accept Beth’s relationship with Lori because she realized it was not just the sexual one she imagined. She realized it was just like any heterosexual relationship, with traumas and victories combined with intimacy and love. Jane realized Beth’s biggest change was the growth acquired from a loving relationship.

Jane learned something we all should—to accept gays and lesbians for who and what they are and for how they feel. Tolerance is not the same thing. Tolerance means “We accept homosexuals as long as they don’t have the same rights heterosexuals do.” Acceptance means letting homosexuals be what they were meant to without ostracizing them through violence, discrimination and prejudice.

Just because they’re different doesn’t mean they should be condemned for it.