Death to smoochy

By Marcus Leshock

Many filmmakers these days seem to be forgetting that a film is as good as its script. “Death to Smoochy” (Warner Bros., R) is the perfect example of this paradox.

If this film tells us anything, it’s that no matter how many talented actors are involved in a project, a movie is doomed without a good screenplay.

When Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams) is fired from his job as a host of a popular children’s television program, the management at KidNet Studios must fill his position.

He is replaced by Sheldon Mopes (Edward Norton), who stars as Smoochy, a ridiculous-looking pink rhino-type with a big, fat human head protruding from his mouth. This happens when Nora (Catherine Keener), the vice president of development at KidNet, discovers Smoochy performing for drug addicts at the local methadone clinic. As always, smack addicts supply very humorous comic relief.

After his hiring, Smoochy’s show goes straight to No. 1, which is hard to believe since the program would be as appetizing to children as a steaming-hot plate of mutton.

Summing it up, the film goes on to chronicle the ups and downs of Smoochy’s reign on top of kiddie TV while Rainbow constantly attempts to destroy him for taking his job. The film eventually winds down to a climactic ice show that apparently can solve the world’s drug problems. The movie attempts to become a satire of the television industry, but its dark efforts are lost in its unfunny, ineffective delivery.

“Death to Smoochy” is the biggest disappointment to hit theaters in years. There are many reasons it fails. The first comes minutes into the film – when Jon Stewart appears on screen.

First, I would like to say that Jon Stewart is a very funny man. Whether he’s on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” doing stand-up or hosting award shows, Stewart usually is refreshingly funny. However, as soon as it’s determined that Stewart has a large role in a motion picture, the project is doomed to stupidity. He has the tendency to pick the worst scripts – perhaps more than any comedian of his generation.

But he’s not responsible for this film’s downfall. It’s the writing of Adam Resnick (“Lucky Numbers,” “Cabin Boy”) that takes this one down. In “Smoochy,” Resnick gives us excessive, unnecessary foul language that could make even David Mamet cringe. A side note to all filmmakers and screenwriters – middle fingers pointed at the audience are not funny and just plain rude.

There are no credits at the end of this picture. I imagine a possible reason for this being that Resnick and the film’s other creators are hoping no one stays long enough to see who’s to blame for this mess.

Another major disappointment comes from actress Catherine Keener. You may remember her strong, vibrant performance as Maxine in “Being John Malkovich.” Why is it that Keener can light up the screen in “Malkovich,” but in “Smoochy,” she can’t convincingly play a drunk? Perhaps the film’s director, Danny DeVito, is not as good with his actors as “Being John Malkovich” director Spike Jonze.

Is DeVito a bad director? No – he’s given us many wonderfully dark films, such as “Hoffa” and “The War of the Roses.” But is he a visionary, as some refer to him? Definitely not. Although his camera work and shot compositions can be very entertaining at times, they are no more than a typical Hitchcock imitation. The big difference between DeVito and Hitchcock is that Hitchcock would never have touched a script this dreadful.

“Death to Smoochy” is one of the biggest disappointments in filmmaking in a long time. It’s nothing more than another waste of time and money. It’s frustrating to think how many good scripts have been passed up so yet another shameful, unfunny comedy can be made in an attempt to steal a quick buck from a trusting audience.

Its creators should be ashamed of themselves.