Bandages for bloody Valentines

By Gary Schaefer

This Valentine’s Day marks one year for my girlfriend and me.

This year we will be at Medieval Times and staying at two hotels, which is a far, far cry from last year’s Valentine’s Day massacre here in DeKalb.

It is my intention to share this story in the hopes that folks who looked for a little tender loving care but found they were Fed Ex’ed to hell can find solace and maybe give love a second chance.

I was single and enjoying my freedom here at NIU, but of course, this Hallmark holiday had made me feel like a pair of scissors with no paper. Yes, that means lonely.

So I provoked this young girl I had gone to high school with into taking an impromptu date with me. She was a friend of a friend so there was plenty to talk about. It went fine and I suggested that she visit for Valentine’s Day. She was game and so a week later I am dressed to impress and she was too.

The idea was simple: dinner at Ruby Tuesday’s, a movie and then back to my place for that thing that young lovers do. It seemed like a fantastic night.

The phone rang and it was her. I went outside and hopped in her car and we headed for Ruby Tuesday’s.

But before that I checked my wallet. Empty. But I wasn’t worrying cause I had my credit card.

So Ruby Tuesday’s was packed to the gills with other couples beginning their romantic interludes. And where did my girlfriend and I go instead?

We went to Dairy Queen. And guess what?

They don’t accept credit cards there. I apologize and we laugh about it as she picks up the tab. I talked the entire time. I figured that my stories of how my car broke down and how I’m this and that and everything in between would entertain her.

In retrospect, she really could fake a laugh like nobody else. Then we were off to the movie. I had picked the movie, and we were going to see “Saving Silverman.” It was a brilliant move on my part for selecting that movie. Women love movies like that, right?

Well, we got there and I picked up another little tidbit of information when I got there, too.

The GKC Theater does not accept credit cards as well. We didn’t have time to run to an ATM so once again my date paid. I apologized again, but we didn’t share the same laugh about it.

My laugh was kind of like, “Oh geez, I’m so forgetful, ha ha ha.”

While hers was more like, “Ha ha ha, you stupid jackass, you’ve ruined my night.”

She hated the movie, but faked her way though it. She was a real trooper. The only way I thought to pay her back or do something for her was to charge gas to my credit card for her ride home.

We got back to my place and we sat on the couch. Instead of me asking if she needs anything, I just start putting on my machismo outfit. I got nowhere. I guess I was lucky that I didn’t get slapped.

The next day I was being made fun of by my roommates as she complained to her co-workers that I intentionally got her to pay for everything. It seemed that nothing good could come from another encounter.

But with a little tenacity, I managed to get a redemption date out of her. It went fine – flowers, a fancy dinner and plenty of romance. We have been having dates like that ever since, because that’s how long it has taken to get my redemption for the first one.

So ladies, give us men a second chance if the first date was a flop, because good things can come to those who wait.

And guys, hold on to a girl who says “yes” to a second date because a woman who will put up with our antics and fake an approving laugh is hard to come by.