I don’t think I was meant to live the high life.

For the first time since I went to Texas back when I was about 10 years old, I went on vacation during spring break. I use the term “vacation” loosely.

Las Vegas was my destination of choice. I found a cheap flight, and going there didn’t warrant me having to get my shoes scrubbed off by less-than-cheery airport personnel or bringing my own med kit to save my own life if that darn hoof-and-mouth disease were to come in contact with me. Yes, it’s true & if you’re going to Ireland or England any time soon, don’t forget all of your million forms of identification AND the first-aid case.

But back to Vegas. Before going on the trip, I figured I would have the time of my life. I mean, what could be better than being in a city where walking down the street with an open alcohol container and throwing down a $10 spot in some slots was not only legal, but highly recommended? Let’s not forget about the super shows there & Rick Springfield here I come … or at least I thought.

Boy, was I mistaken. I did have some fun, I’ll have to admit, but I was ecstatic when my plane touched down at O’Hare Airport on Tuesday night.

Here’s the lowdown on Vegas. It certainly is the city that never sleeps. People of all ages, including children too young to walk, are up and about at all hours of the day and night there. I was a bit under the weather when I went, so I didn’t get inebriated every night and pass out when the sun came up, but some people did … with their children, sad to say.

I woke up one morning at about 5 a.m. to kids running down the hallway. Las Vegas, even with the bright lights and performances, isn’t the best place to take a family vacation. There’s lots of free booze, weird people (to say the least) and a ton of pornography.

One instance that made me almost kiss the snowy ground of Chi-town’s parking lot didn’t happen when I was walking downtown, but in a cab on my way to Walgreens. Yep, I was going to a drug store on vacation. Being sick in Las Vegas is a trip, let me tell you.

So I’m in this cab with my friend, and the driver proceeds to tell us how he makes about $60,000 a year just by taking people around town and has a house with not only five bedrooms and four full-size bathrooms, but an indoor swimming pool to boot. So he wasn’t the most reliable person to talk to.

But what really struck me was when he asked my friend where his wife was, obviously thinking that he told his little woman at home that he was on a “business trip” with his secretary or something.

Nice. It was like I was invisible.

I have a feeling this guy was one of those men who thinks women are better seen than heard and should only be allowed to speak when a man tells her to. Then, after some more of his b.s. about how he was so smart that he didn’t have to finish high school, he then told us how many guns he owned.

Now that was just a little bizarre and all too scary for me. Thank God we got to Walgreens before he showed them to us.

Vacations should be a time to relax and take a load off. I did just that in Vegas, but I wish that I didn’t feel like I was on a different planet while doing so.

This place kind of reminded me of a carnival & it looks nice and fun on the outside with all the games and rides, but the carnies and the basic oddballs spoil it all.

When I was stopping at shops for souvenirs, I couldn’t help but think about the people on the street corners handing out fliers with half- or fully-naked chicks on them or watching people trying to get a few bucks from some yuppie by walking around with a kid in a stroller selling flowers pretending to be poor. How sad.

Sure, there are a lot of not-so-wholesome people in Chicago and the rest of the world in general, but never have I seen such a large concentration of cheating, lying and just plain icky people in my life as I did in Vegas.

Maybe I’m not as worldly as I thought I was. After all, I don’t come from a big city and live a relatively normal life. I don’t frequent strip clubs, I don’t cheat on my significant others and I don’t deal drugs & all which many people, especially those in Sin City, seem to like to do.

Like I’ve said before, Chicago is my kind of city, but even moreso after this trip, the Midwest, I guess, is my place to be. Things seem a little more cut and dry, a little cleaner.

Spending time away from a place of normalcy and comfort can be both fun, and in this case, a learning experience. Vegas is great to visit, as long as you leave soon after and don’t think too much while you’re in the city. Maybe that’s why alcohol is cheap there.