Dry your eyes, weary Bears fans. The playoffs must go on and a great way to put a smile on your face is to dust off that old electronic football game with the vibrating metal board and plastic men who run in circles.

Before John Madden and his never-ending string of football video games stole our time and money, there was electronic football. This weekend it's time to be the coach, but try not to pull a John Shoop and run a dump pass on third-and-long.

It probably has been a long time since you've had the privilege of playing the game. Have the newer models improved since your youth? Nope. There's still a stiff-legged kicker for the kickoff - just make sure he doesn't pull a Bill Gramatica and hurt his knee during any field goal celebrations.

The game still has the tall quarterback with the rigor mortis arm and the accuracy of an infant with a lazy eye. The defenders still stick their hands in and their elbows out with the desperate hopes of stopping the amazing blitz by the defenders who bumble and stumble way before it's time to rumble.

The game is chock full of twists, if you want to have a football martini that is certainly shaken, not stirred. This original design has not come very far since 1949, but that could be a sign of just how great the invention was. As kids, it was a blast meticulously lining up your pass blockers, runners and defenders. You made sure every player was in the right spot and then you switched on the board.

Naturally, the runner went in circles and pass blockers fell over or turned and ran after the quarterback. But there might have been one receiver who went out for a pass and the quarterback lobbed the chunk of foam into the air and hit his man. The receiver tucked the ball under his arm and, without a defender in sight, ran for the end zone.

But come this weekend, where football and booze go hand in hand, this game certainly will add to the football festivities.

Believe it or not, electronic football can be enjoyed by the college student as a drinking game. Rules for the drinking game have every right to change to accommodate the number of people and the potency of the alcohol being consumed.

Pair off into teams and get a big drink ready. After the ensuing kickoff, start a play and after it's over, you and your teammate have to take a drink for every player on your team that fell over. If you throw an interception, you drink. If you score a touchdown, your opponent drinks. If the defense sacks the quarterback, the offensive team drinks.

Chances are that one to three plastic players will fall on each play. By the end of the game, you will beg in a deeply slurred voice for him to stay on his feet just that one time. Remember, the Weekender urges you to drink responsibly.

It's a fun way to pass the time during halftime, just hope that the final score doesn't turn out to be 50 to 47.

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DVDictionary

Featurette (n.) - A short compilation of footage interspersed with behind-the-scenes footage and cast/crew interviews. Not to be acknowledged as the feminine version of the "manly" feature.