I went to a family gathering recently and realized the different ways people want to keep memories. To me, memories are doing things and living in the moment, not saying “cheese” while looking at a camera just to get the perfect picture for social media.
When my grandfather was alive, I loved going over to his house. I would watch TV and raid the snacks or we’d get the grill going and have barbecues. In the summer, I’d bring my swim trunks and go swimming in the pool. However, ever since my paternal grandfather died around a decade ago, family gatherings haven’t been as fun anymore.
This change in activities made me notice how differently my father and mother’s sides of the family celebrate during gatherings. The biggest difference is how they approach taking photos. At family gatherings, taking photos is a very common thing. However it is not my favorite part of my family’s time together.
With my mother’s side of the family, gatherings feel uneventful, but everyone can’t wait to get a photo taken. We always meet at my grandparent’s house, which is crammed with way too many people. When families get together, they typically talk about the new things that are going on in their lives. However, my mom’s relatives commonly post on Facebook, so the photos they post take the place of the conversations we could have in person.
With my father’s family, there’s nothing glamorous about family gatherings. The planning is simple: come to the house on this day and we’ll eat at this time. The only time any cameras were used was when my father would get his camcorder out and record everyone opening Christmas presents. With my father’s family, memories are about living in the moment.
It’s a hassle to get people together and play musical chairs to get a photo that could’ve just been taken if everyone stayed in their seats, living in the moment.
Imagine seeing a photo of yourself doing something you never remember doing, but everyone else remembers it fondly. How would you feel? I’d feel like the photo is meaningless because I don’t have the memory of it.
Memories are what people remember from a certain event. Photos are physical representations of those memories. Therefore, without the memories, the photos have no meaning. When spending time with loved ones you should live in the moment and experience the memories while they’re happening.