Point/Counterpoint: Friend zone

 

Friend-zoning occurs when someone wants a romantic relationship, despite their friend wanting a platonic one, according to a 2014 study by Bowling Green State University.

Its possible to escape the zone

Godwin Thomas

Those placed in the friend zone have nothing to fear as it’s possible to escape since friendships are the foundation of a healthy, romantic relationship. Friends are the people we choose to spend the majority of our free time with and the people we are able to be emotionally intimate with, creating the perfect context for romance.

“I’ve had situations in my marriage and family therapies where people are best friends with a member of the opposite sex for instance, they didn’t think they were attracted to them before but after going out on a date they became more attracted,” said D. Scott Sibley, professor of Human Development and Family Sciences. “I’ve actually had some people get married that way.”

When two people are compatible with each other they are often more emotionally open with each other, thus able to talk about their feelings candidly. When we develop romantic feelings, we don’t have a communication barrier which prevents us from expressing our thoughts.

“You already know the person so well you know, so why not try something?,” said sophomore accountancy major Danish Mohiuddin.

Under ideal circumstances someone who is in the friendzone would be willing to talk to their friend about their romantic feelings, because their friend would be respectful and understanding regardless of their response.

Those who have placed someone in the friendzone should remember their friendship has been a great experience. Friendships are just a taste of what has the potential to grow into an amazing relationship and its important to be open to new romantic possibilities when it comes to their friendships.

“Some of the very best marriages are actually founded on the very idea of friendship,” said Sibley. “Friendship being such an important marker, romantic relationships can really go the distance in many ways.”

It is always important to be honest when it comes to romantic feelings. Friendships serve as the foundation for great relationships.

Evasion is the best strategy

Mackenzie Meadows

Trying to avoid the zone altogether may be the best tactic rather than attempting an escape. Once placed in the friend zone, it is impossible to escape from it. Victims of the friend zone will have to watch the love of their life date everyone else while those who suffer from unrequited love wallow in self-pity. 

Rollo Tomassi is a prominent voice in the “positive masculinity movement” and author of “The Rational Male.” Tomassi describes his book as, “a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations.”

“Note that this doesn’t preclude you from staying friends with a woman, as long as you accept the fact that, once she has pegged you in the “friend” category, she is likely never going to revisit that decision, and if you try to make her revisit that decision, it will most likely only bring you trouble,” said Tomassi in the book published October 2013. “Let it be and move on.”

The book also states that more than likely the person stuck in the friend zone didn’t make their move in time and got themselves in the friend zone by their own doing.

Typically once a person makes up their mind about someone else, it’s not changing. This is not for the lack of trying or will power,but because their heart and mind have already told themselves that it is just not meant to be so there’s no point in leading that person on. Instead of just shattering any hope victims of the zone might have had to get out of the friend zone, here’s some tips to avoid the quicksand all together.

Avoiding being placed in the friend zone is a lot easier than trying to escape it; its important to always be candid when it comes to romantic feelings so the opportunity for a relationship isn’t missed. Don’t be the person stuck in the friend zone forced to watch the crush get spoiled by someone else.

If placed in the friend zone there is no need to panic, realize there is still an amazing friendship to enjoy and always keep an open mind as there plenty of people looking for the match aswell. When in doubt listen to legendary baseball player Babe Ruth’s advice, “never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”