Returning home after a long trip can sometimes leave you feeling stressed, anxious or even a little bit depressed. Sometimes it’s because you left a wonderful vacation and now have to deal with the reality of being a student or an employee. Maybe you’re about to start a new chapter in your life.

Now let’s up the ante a little bit. Imagine that you aren’t returning home from a vacation, but from a tour of duty in Iraq or Afghanistan. Can you imagine the amount of stress that would cause you? Can you imagine a way of safely dealing with that stress, when it’s considered a sign of weakness? Tragically, in 2012, the highest number of active duty servicemen resorted to the worst type of self-medication: suicide.

According to the Department of Defense, in 2012 there were about 349 servicemen and servicewomen who committed suicide, exceeding the about 295 combat deaths in Afghanistan that year.

Veterans are also suffering greatly. In 2010, the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America nonprofit reported that of the average 30,000 suicides that occur in the United States each year, 20 percent are committed by U.S. veterans, though only 1 percent of the population has served in the military. According to the Department of Veteran’s Affairs (VA), every 80 minutes a veteran commits suicide.

The military and VA try to provide servicemen/women with free counseling for themselves or their families, and there are religious leaders available to talk, as well as civilian support groups to help men and women. Even here at NIU there are counseling services available for veterans in need. With all of these outlets, where are we going wrong?

I served in Iraq and Afghanistan as a combat veteran. I served in the United States Marine Corps in the Infantry as an 0341 (Mortarman). Ever since I got out of the Corps in 2012, I have heard many of my brothers tell me that they need help. They can’t sleep, they can’t eat and they can’t talk to their spouses.

They also ask me how they receive the benefits from the VA. How do we do that, indeed?

There are many different places where they can get help and yet they are never given the proper guidance to find that help. It’s the same for active duty servicemen/women.

When you are in an environment where the machismo attitude dominates, you can’t risk telling your gunnery sergeant that you need help because you’ll look weak. You fear that your brothers won’t trust you.

We need to come together as a nation to help protect and support those who sacrificed so much for us. We need to start showing our appreciation for those who do the jobs that we can’t or won’t do. We need to stop focusing on our opinions towards the war, and start focusing on those who fight it for us. They serve for many different reasons, but one thing remains true for them all: Even if they don’t know you, they will die to protect you.

It’s time that we return the favor. If we continue to ignore this fact, shame on us as Americans.