“I’m so bored! This is awkward! Why did I come?” Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve given your best effort to mingling at parties and being more sociable. However, if you’ve run the party gamut and still find yourself unbearably uncomfortable in a hot, stuffy room of drunken strangers—even with your friends close at hand—perhaps there is nothing to be done.

It took me a few tries to realize this, but the truth is that parties are just not for everyone. Whether they’re too loud, awkward or suffocating, they don’t mesh with every personality and can be a cause for anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against hosts and partygoers. However, there are a few reasons based on my own experience why I don’t care for college parties. For one, the music at these things usually isn’t great, but that’s a whole other story.

One big concern with college parties is their crowdedness. My view is there are certain situations in which it is okay to cram people close together, like a concert, dance or a trip on an airplane.

In those situations, you don’t even have to talk to those around you, and you’re usually doing something. I understand wanting to just hang out, but assembling a large group of students into a small apartment with no clear objective makes me kind of nervous.

If all we’re going to do is sit, stand, talk and drink, I’d rather do it in a smaller group of friends. Some feel more comfortable and actually safer in a kind of environment where they know most of the faces. Also, I don’t like shouting over the din of the room to have a conversation with the person next to me.

Of course, there is always an element of danger. This is unfortunate and, I think, a little warped because parties shouldn’t be scary; they’re meant to be fun. That said, it’s entirely possible to have a good time with your pals and avoid an unsafe situation. First of all, know your limits with alcohol and stay close to people you trust. Lectures aside, I know safety is still a key reason some prefer to sit it out.

For those who don’t understand unwillingness to party, it’s important to remember that different people socialize in different ways. If you have a friend who doesn’t feel like going out, don’t push them to do so. Though continually declining to leave his or her room or see anyone can be a sign of something wrong, it is usually nothing to fuss about if a friend would rather stay home some nights.

I think it’s a good idea to at least try a party once or twice yourself before you decide that they aren’t fun. Be responsible and take care of yourself, though. As long as they are friendly and safe, there is nothing wrong with big parties and it’s obvious a lot of people our age enjoy them. Again, it all comes down to personal preference.