With the passing of time comes a change in most things. Friends and friendships are no exception, but I really wish they were.

My parents met their friends in school. These people later became the characters and backdrops for every amazing story they had to tell. It didn’t matter if they’d met in grade school, high school or college; the one common denominator was that they’d met in school with the end result of a wealth of stories and laughter. Because of this, I was beside myself with excitement that first day of kindergarten. Here was my chance to make a friend and start creating the memories that would last a lifetime.

I walked up to the first kid I saw and said, “Do you want to be best friends?”

“Okay.” And that was that. For the next eight years we were inseparable. Two sleepovers a week, video games, sports and laughter shaped the ‘90s; Zach was there for all of it.

Then, one day in seventh grade, the friendship ended. We’d grown apart, and a few months later, his family moved to Wisconsin. I haven’t spoken to my one true childhood friend in over eight years. I can barely remember what he looks like.

With high school came four new friendships that I was certain would stand the test of time. We were thick as thieves and decided to join the Marines after graduation, but life had other plans. Out of respect for my friends and their families, I’ve changed the names below.

John’s mother died that summer. He decided (and we agreed) that his family needed him more than the military did. He went to work in a warehouse and stayed close to home. I see him once a year for about an hour if I’m lucky.

Bill tried to commit suicide and was subsequently dropped by the Marines. We haven’t spoken in four years. I have no idea where he is.

I got a scholarship and decided to play college football.

Chris and Eric both joined up. They served a tour in Afghanistan, after which Eric was given an honorary discharge for medical reasons. He moved back home and sells cars for a living. Chris is getting out in a couple of months and will attend Iowa State University in the fall. I haven’t seen either of them in over a year, and the last time that all five of us were together was high school graduation.

Once again, inseparable friends became separated.

Seeing this process repeat itself over and over upset me. Were “friends” really just strangers on a beach, drifting in and out of your life with only footprints in the sand to remind you they had been there at all? And if so, what happens when the tide comes in?

It suddenly occurred to me that while I’d heard my parents talk of past friendships, I’d never met a single friend. Sixteen years after meeting Zach, I asked my father why.

“Life got in the way,” he said.

I have new friends now, college friends and stories to tell my kids about someday. While once again I hope I’ll never lose touch with these incredible people, I can’t help but wonder: will life get in the way? I sincerely hope not, but it wouldn’t be the first time.