Editor’s Note: Read David Vann’s Esquire article here.

Author David Vann recently wrote a story published in Esquire magazine on the background of Steven Kazmierczak. Kazmierczak entered Room 101 of Cole Hall Feb. 14 and opened fire, killing five students and injuring 18 others before killing himself. The Northern Star was able to ask Vann a few questions via e-mail regarding the story.

Northern Star: Why did you decide to write the story?

David Vann: Originally I set out to write a much different story, a more sympathetic look at him as a suicide. I have a collection of stories about my father’s suicide, titled “Legend of a Suicide,” and there are also several other suicides and a murder/suicide in my own family. I believed the previous media accounts that Steve was a sweet, overachieving grad student who inexplicably snapped. And for his professors and friends here at NIU, that’s who he was. He hid his past from them, and they couldn’t have seen any warning signs. But once I began talking with his friends from junior high and high school, I learned that there was much more to the story of his life.

NS: Why did you decide to use creative license in the beginning of the story [with Kazmierczak’s thoughts about how the gun didn’t seem real, and what he must have been doing during that time at the hotel]?

DV: I wasn’t there in the hotel room with him, obviously, and I think every reader will know that. But I do know exactly what he was wearing, exactly what guns he had, exactly what guitar case and how it was taped, what personal hygiene products, what cigarettes, how he sawed off the barrel of the shotgun, why the tattoo of Jigsaw was important to him. I know who he called and e-mailed for his several days in that motel room, and I’ve read the e-mails and know exactly how long the calls lasted and most of what was said. I know what he bought online. From his mental health records, I know that he couldn’t sit still, was always fidgeting, that threes spoke to him, almost prophetically, that he had compulsive and incessant checking behaviors. I visited the motel, and I held and fired a Glock 9 mm pistol. I listened to the songs he listened to while he was in that room, such as “Coma White” by Marilyn Manson, and I read his e-mails with “Kelly” in which he talked about that and made comments about what it was like to be in the room.

NS: What do you think Kazmierczak’s motive was?

DV: I don’t think he had a motive, and he didn’t plan to survive. Instead of looking for a motive, I think we have to try to understand who he was and how it became possible for him to do what he did, and to understand that, I think the main narratives would be his mental health history, his sexual history, his fascination with other killers and even Hitler, his fascination with horror movies (especially the “SAW” series), his Libertarian views and love of Nietzsche, his ownership of guns, and his training from the Army to kill without any emotional or psychological effect.

NS: Where did you get the police report? Was it related to the NIU shootings, or a police report related to something else Kazmierczak was involved with?

DV: I can’t reveal my sources.

NS: Did you talk to all the people you mentioned in the story? How did you get a hold of them?

DV: I didn’t talk to everyone mentioned in the article, but I did interview dozens of people over about three months.

NS: What does your story present that other media didn’t cover or address?

DV: Literally hundreds of new facts, and a far different portrait overall.

NS: What was your goal in writing this story?

DV: My hope is that the article will be helpful to the victims’ families and the larger communities affected, including NIU. I know a lot of people were frustrated not to be able to find out the full story, and now they have access to an enormous amount of new information. I’m writing a book which contains much more information, but the article is long enough to present the shape of his life and focuses especially on how things fell apart for him beginning in the fall of 2007. I was careful throughout not to insert my own opinions or to make judgments, so that readers can come to their own conclusions.

NS: Is [the book you’re writing] specifically about Kazmierczak and his background, or is it a more general look at suicide and violence?

DV: I’m … writing a book about Kazmierczak, tentatively titled “Last Day On Earth.” That’s the one that has a lot more information about him.

NS: Have you received any feedback or comments, positive or negative?

DV: The article was written about by the Associated Press, and that story was picked up by hundreds of news outlets. I’ve received positive feedback, also, from many of Steve’s professors and friends, many of the people who are mentioned in the article. I do believe everyone wants to know the truth and the full story, as painful as that may be in various ways, and that’s why I’m also writing the book.

Read David Vann’s Esquire article here.