Rating: .1/10

An open letter to music as a whole: Hi, it’s me, Tony Martin. Music, I know we’ve had some arguments in the past, but I usually find some way to get over it and accept you back into my life. However, music, we need to talk.

It’s about the album by “Sixx AM”, the soundtrack to Nikki Sixx’s book “The Heroin Diaries.”

My first issue is the idea of having a soundtrack to a book. Music for movies is OK, but now you’re working for books? Soon I’ll turn around and Timberland will be writing beats for Dell User Manuals.

The second issue is the Hunter S. Thompson rip-off that encompasses this piece of “art.” Not only is this title a cheap play on Mr. Thompsons’ “the Rum Diaries”, but the artwork is that of a second rate Ralph Steadman.

Scratches on a page don’t make anyone an artist. However, I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, Sixx was in Motley Crue, a band so terrible I wouldn’t hesitate to call them a disgrace to electric instruments.

The music itself is horrid and filled with terrible dialogue about heroin addiction. It was so bad that it could have been written by my 15-year-old sister if she pretended to be addicted to a deadly and non-inspiring drug. The songs are absolutely awful, and the lyrical content is laughable.

I can’t even begin to imagine how disappointing the book is if the songs are this dreadful. There are no redeeming qualities about this record, and I would never encourage anyone to listen to it, even for novelty’s sake. Still, I can’t give this album a 0/10, because that might imply that it doesn’t actually exist.

It does exist, and I regret the day I agreed to review this album. Nikki Sixx, you owe me 45 minutes of my life back. And Music, what happened to you?