“Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous”

By Jessie Coello

What happens when a klutzy and hardly supermodel FBI agent goes undercover in the Miss USA Beauty Pageant? “Miss Congeniality,” starring Sandra Bullock as that agent, centers around one such premise.

“Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous,” revolves around practically the same idea and is nearly the same movie – only hardly “congenial.”

The movie picks up three weeks later – and Gracie’s loss at the pageant is the least of her problems. Not only can she no longer do her job thanks to post-pageant publicity, but agent/boyfriend Eric Matthews dumped her. Gracie is back to her disheveled self.

Luckily, she’s offered the chance to be “the new face” of the FBI – and takes the job because she believes it when her new and flamboyant stylist Joel, (Diedrich Bader) tells her that, “People don’t care about people who don’t care about themselves.”

Months later, she is transformed into a prissy B-celebrity with designer clothes, totes, a styling team, and a memoir to boot. Every celebrity needs a body guard: Gracie’s is agent Sam Fuller, (Regina King) a tough ass-buster more likely to kill Gracie than keep her safe.

As Gracie sashays in-and-out of the talkshow circuit riding her own 15 minutes of fame, her pageant buddy and Miss USA, Cheryl (Heather Burns) and pageant emcee Stan Fields (William Shatner) are kidnapped in Las Vegas. Gracie is flown out to the city of lights for a press conference on the case.

Gracie’s PR duty in the sticky situation turns into her trying to solve the crime. But as a Barbie doll agent, can she? Only one agent, Jeff Foreman (Eric Murciano) takes her seriously. Yet the agent who counts – Las Vegas head Collins (Treat Williams), threatens to arrest Gracie if she interferes with the operation.

Armed only with her team of stylists, body guard and another agent, Gracie must save her buddies before it’s too late.

If Bullock’s last comedic endeavor (“Two Weeks Notice”) doesn’t scare you away, her track record with sequels should.

Much like “Speed 2,” the weightier talents in “Congeniality” opted out of the sequel: there is no truly fabulous makeover maven Sir Michael Caine, nor hunky Benjamin Bratt to exchange witty interplay with Gracie.

Instead, their understudies, Bader, a makeup artist with a Carson Kressley sense of humor and dumb-as-bricks special-agent-but-not-love-interest Murciano take their places. The two characters are just a part of the recycled plot we saw in “Congeniality.”

Bullock does a nice job distracting from the mess on screen, but you can only fool people with costume changes for so long.

Nonetheless, the audience will be thankful for King, the real saving “Grace” in the movie. Sure, her angry-black-women-butt-kicking stereotype is sometimes over the top, but her Tina Turner impression is impeccable.

“Miss Congeniality 2” is less “Armed and Fabulous,” and more “Uncharmed and Preposterous.”