I went to a Dance Dance Revolution party and an anime club broke out.

From the moment the Jack’s weekly expedition to NIU’s Anime Club started, an interesting experience was bound to happen.

Every Tuesday and Thursday evening at about 6 p.m. at Cole Hall’s preview room, a group of students who claim to have no significant others gather to watch something I have dubbed “confusing as hell.”

Picture a regular cartoon with no plot, (other than an uninteresting one) strung out on a bad acid trip. This type of cartoon has been popular among students who are normally seen at a Star Trek convention.

Live long and prosper, Tsubasa Naruto.

The club averages 20 to 25 students per meeting, depending on what kind of anime is being shown.

“The fall semester is where we get the most new people,” club president Jennifer Sterczek said.

I considered coming fully dressed in an emperor of the galaxy costume with one of those huge, cheesy smiles on my face. I hope the club members’ disappointment didn’t cause them to go home crying.

The club watched a few showings of “fan dub,” a craze among anime-obsessed fans. One fan dub even ended with “Sean Connery wants to spank you.” Now that’s entertainment at its finest.

“People who make fan dubs make fun of the fact they like anime,” said Joune Strum, a sophomore time arts major.

For those readers who do not know what it is, let’s take a moment to let my anime alter ego out and explain the concept to you. His name is Fujiwara Goto.

Fujiwara Goto: Late at night a group of my friends and I sat around discussing what we should do over some Krispy Squares and Tang provided by my mom. A young sir in my group suggested finding a hot babe to discuss the latest “Sailor Moon” with, but after looking in the mirror, seeing my thick glasses and my oversized digital watch, I decided we should become ultimate super-studs by inserting ultra-witty commentary into already confusing anime. Remember, it’s pronounced “AH-NI-ME” not “AN-I-ME.” Get it right or feel the wrath of my level-nine sorcerer! Our voice-over will have jokes about being miserable in our love life, masturbation and other “AH-NI-ME”s. BRILLIANT!

Excuse me, Mr. Fujiwara Goto? Will you be joining us at this weekend’s Cos Play?

Fujiwara Goto: No, I am sorry, li’l minions. I will sadly be turning into a giant robot and blinking an unnecessary amount of light toward unruly citizens to give them random seizures.

Hebe Jebe Kepe Nepe Lepe Wepe Sepe Libby’s Juicy Juice Waka Haka Turna Back To The Jacka. Translation: My head hurts from an immense amount of nonsensical dribble, but I loooove juice.

After I left, I came back to reality and sincerely wished Sean Connery would punch me in the face.

Views expressed in this weekly humor column do not necessarily reflect The Northern Star or of its staff. Send questions, comments or contact information to [email protected].