And along comes another bloated, coma-inducing, “gross-out” comedy. Funny thing is, it’s just not funny.

While directors like Terry Zwigoff are using their position to make groundbreaking, dark, edgy comedies (“Bad Santa”), directors like John Hamburg and his “Meet the Parents” counterpart Jay Roach are sticking to a tired formula — a formula that belongs on “Must-See TV” before a movie screen.

-It’s no secret that John Hamburg co-wrote “Meet the Parents.” “Along Came Polly” marks his directorial debut, but it feels like a bad impression more than anything else. We’re treated to more excrement jokes (a guy craps in a girl’s bathroom and — surprise, surprise — the toilet clogs). Hamburg even goes as far back as “Better Off Dead” to steal a few jokes. (“Hey Lane, mind if I take out Beth?”)

Ben Stiller plays Reuben Feffer, a man who makes a living analyzing risks for insurance companies. Following the standard comedy rule book, the audience knows Reuben must be terrified of taking risks, and we know he must overcome his fears by the end of the picture.

The ball gets rolling in that direction relatively quickly. Reuben gets married to his longtime sweetheart Lisa (Debra Messing), and the two quickly head off on their honeymoon. While in some tropical paradise, Lisa knocks flippers with a sexy French scuba instructor (the frighteningly huge Hank Azaria), which Reuben witnesses and sends his picture-perfect life to a crashing halt.

Reuben is stuck with a brand-new, enormous house to move into, a job that keeps him anal as ever and, most importantly, no wife.

Enter Polly (Jennifer Aniston), a flaky, sexy, “take life on a whim” kind of chick. In other words, she’s Reuben’s polar opposite, and she’s placed into the plot to make sure Reuben changes and we all go home happy.

But is Polly really happy? A rule of thumb in movies like this is that characters must change. For example, Sandy Lyle (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is Reuben’s best friend in the film. Sandy is a has-been child actor, all grown up and sloppy as ever. We know that Sandy must change his egotistical ways just as Reuben does. Of course, this happens, but I won’t reveal the big secret as to how.

The point of all this is that Polly is somehow forgotten. It’s as if her whole existence is to make sure that Reuben becomes a “better,” more liberal person. To show just how low Reuben sinks, he uses his risk management computer software to determine who is the greater risk to his life — Polly or his slut of a wife.

Sure, this is a simple comedy, but it’s just too unbelievable. We’re supposed to believe Reuben is a man who needs to turn to a computer to determine the benefits between a woman who would sleep with a scuba instructor on her honeymoon or a woman who has shown him nothing but complete passion. Then, in one inspiring moment, Reuben suddenly realizes that he’s an uptight, conservative buffoon. In reality, this man never would change. It’s impossible to root for this awful character.

Which leads into another complaint. Usually a movie of this caliber needs a few supporting characters to help move the story along and, more importantly, to provide a few cheap laughs. This is where “Along Came Polly” really succeeds.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is wonderful as the prima donna Sandy Lyle. Alec Baldwin plays Stan Indursky, Reuben’s boss, with just enough sass. He never lays his character on too thick. Each time these two appeared on screen, I found myself lighting up — as if things were going to get better.

But such great supporting characters are the film’s downfall; they outshine the main duo, leaving an empty plot to feel even emptier. Why not make a film about the child star overcoming his setbacks? Maybe Hamburg and the rest feel Philip Seymour Hoffman can’t carry this type of picture. I’d strongly disagree.

Still, Ben Stiller is too talented a filmmaker to keep making these tired movies, and Jennifer Aniston just finished playing this character on “Friends” for nearly a decade. Hamburg needs to know it’s time for them to move on and, most importantly, let the audience do so as well.