Don’t you hate Christmas?

What started as a holiday meant to bring together family and friends has turned into a melting pot of capitalistic greed. Think I’m wrong? Go to a shopping mall this time of year. Notice the lines full of “adults” kicking and screaming at each other, all to get that toy their television told them was the “hot item” this season. Watch the nervous twitch of their arm as they wait in an ungodly long line, all so the little brat standing next to them won’t throw another temper tantrum.

And to make things worse, economists will tell us the best thing for the American economy is to see these pathetic souls buying and buying away. It really begs the question, what the hell happened here? If this is really “the greatest country God gave us,” as political pundits like Sean Hannity refer to it, then why in God’s name- are we standing around like mindless drones? Because some ad whore told us it’s the right thing to do?

Finally, a holiday film comes around and bites the lack of spirit right in its filthy ass. And when I say filthy, I mean filthy. “Bad Santa” is not a kid’s movie. Hell, it’s hardly a sane adult’s movie. But it’s a funny movie, like it or not.

Billy Bob Thornton plays Willie, a pathetic drunk and a complete waste of a human body. Willie spends his holiday seasons with his “little person” friend Marcus, going from shopping mall to shopping mall and posing as Santa and his elf, respectively. Willie and Marcus find no enjoyment in this process. Kids spit and sneeze on Santa and never ask for what they want. They just rudely tell him.

But Willie and Marcus aren’t in this for kicks. They wait the entire season and then pull an all-nighter robbing the malls blind. They’re con artists, and they’re really good at it. They haven’t been caught once.

But this season is different. Willie comes in contact with a special, sort-of lame little boy who, in any other film, would teach him the joys of Christmas. In this twisted tale, it’s quite the opposite. Willie ends up teaching the boy the tricks of being Willie. What ensues is one-of-a-kind, shameful hilarity.

There’s something funny about seeing Santa arrive at a room full of waiting children with a cigarette in his mouth. Or when he stumbles up an escalator drunk out of his mind, bottle still in hand. At one point, Santa even wets himself while sitting on his shopping mall throne. We really hate this character, but the filmmakers make it so much fun to do so.

What makes this film so great is director Terry Zwigoff’s ability to take a naughty script and run with it. There are no breathtaking visuals, just sad realism accompanied by top-notch, witty dialogue.

I bet you’re wondering just how bad this film gets. Well, in one moment, Willie, in his Santa gear, is caught fornicating with a woman in the big-and-tall section’s dressing room. The mall director, a fabulous John Ritter, overhears Willie tell the woman, “You’re not gonna s— right for a month!”

Sure, this film is absolutely vulgar, but that’s why it has the R rating. While every other critic will no doubt tell you not to take your kids to this picture, I wouldn’t do it. If you’re dumb enough to take your kid into an R-rated film and be mad at the filmmakers afterward, then you shouldn’t have had the nerve to have children in the first place.

If you’re that idiot who enjoys waiting in line at 5 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving to get that stupid toy your kid won’t stop whining about, then this film isn’t for you. Try “Elf” or “Brother Bear.”

But if you’re that idiot waiting in line at 5 a.m. to get that toy for your brainwashed kid, thinking about how your life came to this pathetic moment while downing a bottle of scotch and chasing it with a drag from a Marlboro Red, then “Bad Santa” is your movie.

Hell, in that case, “Bad Santa” is the greatest holiday picture ever made.