So we’ve all heard the stupid, Sunday comics joke about carbonara/alfredo: “It’s just like mac & cheese for adults!” Har har, roll laugh track, throw pie, etc.And yeah, after you get past the, “Gee golly, isn’t that just a hoot and a holler”...
Banana bread is pretty much one of the most boring culinary inventions in the food world. It’s not even something most people try to make on purpose, they just remember that they have some bananas in the freezer and figure “Hey, this is marginally...
Ah, the pound cake: the paradigmatic example of Americans taking something functional and messing it up.For those of you unfortunate souls who don’t know, the reason why a pound cake is called a pound cake is because the total weight of the combined...
Food and trust are more related than you’d think.When you go to that hyped-up, Michelin-starred, Ramsay-talked-about restaurant in the city, or, better yet, your friend’s weird aunt’s house, you’re putting the entirety of your faith and the livelihood...
You know those old-time grocery-store ads where the chicken would look way too plasticky, and there’d be five perfectly atomically lined up sprigs of asparagus next to it? Yeah, you do. There was always that one weird, lonely sprig of parsley on top,...
A good drink talks to you, and a good drink listens. It tells you when you’re done, when you’ve had too much, when to have more. A good drink thinks. It’s not mindless, not easy. You don’t make it in a keg or a cooler or a plastic bowl with a...
I’ll admit: Cupcakes are pretty mindless.I know a lot of bakery upstarts and soccer moms and frosting jockeys are gonna get all angry when they read that because “I’ve been working on these red velvet cupcakes but they’re blue instead of red and...
The screwdriver is a drink so bad, so uninspired, that its name describes the only time it’s acceptable to drink one: when all you have is a gross, rusty screwdriver to stir your drink with. That’s a fact, by the way.The drink was invented when a...
As your half-blinded and all-the-way hungover eyes are oozing their way over the brunch specials, you see it. French toast, stuffed with things and topped with more things. I’ll have five of them.But suddenly you see an equally delicious, moist-but-not-too-moist...
Lemme educate you on something real quick.A frozen margarita isn’t a real margarita. A frozen margarita is something fat and/or boring people order at a T.G.I. Fridays because they want a vaguely tequila-tasting glass silo full of sugary lime water....
Yes, yes. I can hear the groans through my feeble little internet speakers.And it’s a shame, really, because I’d do the same thing if I read a boring-ass title like Roasted Vegetable Quinoa. Really, I would. Sounds like something an event organizer...
Of all the foods in this wonderful food-universe of ours, hot sauce is the one that comes closest to being a religion.There’s some stuff people have mild disagreements over, sure. You might have your yellow vs. brown mustard people, your Duke’s vs....
