A Nepali woman is suspected to have been killed by her partner in Virginia. Mamta Kafle Bhatt has been missing since July. She was living with her husband and a 1-year-old daughter. She was a licensed nurse and well-educated.  

Her husband Naresh Bhatt – a former police recruit and ex-U.S. Army Reserve – is currently awaiting trial.  

So what happened to this family? Why did a 1-year-old child lose her mom completely, with her father the suspected killer of his own wife? 

When Kafle Bhatt went missing, her husband was trying to sell their car and house. He also attempted to send their daughter to Nepal. Kafle Bhatt had been looking for help in a support group for single moms and separated women. 

In Nepali communities, there is a belief that the husband in a marriage is a form of God. The wife must listen and follow whatever they order. The position of a wife is like being a puppet to the husband; they exist to obey their husband’s orders, rather than be a life partner.

This gives men a superior position in society, and in arranged marriages, girls’ consent is not required. Girls’ parents even give a large dowry to their son-in-laws. It’s considered a man’s duty to go outside and earn money for family. 

On the other hand, women are responsible for maintaining the house and taking care of children. If a husband is bad, fooling around outside, drinking or abusing his wife, the wife is not allowed to talk about it outside her home. Complaining to others, retaliating or reporting to the police is not an option.

Today, this way of thinking is gradually changing but not completely. 

Marriage is not only a connection: it’s a commitment to help each other in every step of life. There must be proper communication and mutual consent with every decision. Spouses should respect each other’s choices. If either spouse doesn’t feel comfortable in any situation, they should stop and discuss before the next step.

Life partners are the ones with whom people share joy, sorrow and happiness. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, every person should have the right to separate amicably and should respect others who make that choice. 

But in many cases, women do not want to give up on their partner even when they’re a victim of domestic violence, according to Psychology Today.

Women may remain in abusive relationships because of their religion, culture, socio-economic status, family pressure, fear, love, child custody, fear of being deported, lack of education or other reasons, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  

Women who are unemployed and financially dependent on their partner are also more likely to stay in an abusive relationship. They may fear nobody will believe them, or that if their partner got in trouble with the law, they’d have nowhere to go. 

Michelle M. Lilly, a professor of clinical psychology at NIU, is a licensed clinical psychologist in Illinois. 

“Domestic violence carries significant stigma, leading to shame and guilt that can trap victims in abusive relationships,” Lilly said. “Many women feel they should have seen the signs and left earlier but don’t for various reasons. The risk of violence often increases during pregnancy or when caring for young children, making it even harder to leave. Limited resources and uncertainty about where to go also pose challenges. Additionally, leaving an abusive partner is the most dangerous time, with a heightened risk of homicide, making some women fear the consequences of escaping.” 

Sometimes victims don’t know about the resources available to them. Sometimes they have kids, and believing it best for the sake of their child’s future, they remain silent.

Lilly added that family also plays a crucial role in why women stay in abusive relationships. 

“Sometimes you’ll see families go both ways, right? So you might see a family that, for a long time, is pressuring the person to leave, but they might not realize that that’s a time of high risk,” Lilly said. “Or you might see family members who encourage somebody to try to stay and work it out for any number of reasons, maybe that’s for cultural factors, or for religious, reason, reasons, or, you know, they might be saying, you know, this is just a bump in the road, you’ll figure it out. So sometimes family and friends put a lot of pressure to leave, and sometimes they put a lot of pressure to stay.”

It is very rare to arrest perpetrators of domestic violence, and it is even more rare to go fully through the court system. Most of the time a perpetrator receives only penalties like prohibitions and anger management classes, according to Criminal Defense Lawyer.

The resources available to domestic violence victims, like food shelters and legal help after reporting, vary from state to state. 

In DeKalb, there is Safe Passage, which is a good resource for victims. Safe Passage is a domestic violence and sexual assault crisis center and has advocates that can help victims navigate their situation. DeKalb police can also help victims stay safe.  

But all of society, regardless of culture, must update their thinking and learn that every human is equal. As boys, men need to learn to respect women and girls and treat them equally. 

We need to educate and spread awareness about domestic violence, support policies that hold abusers accountable and advocate for more resources for victims, especially immigrants. Often,immigrants are less familiar with U.S. legal procedures and may experience communication problems. So, public resources must have translation services available for  immigrant women as well. 

Parents must also take on the responsibility for this issue by teaching and treating their sons and daughters equally. They should not favor sons over daughters. They should encourage their daughters to become independent women instead of dependent housewives.

If a child is not happy in a relationship, no parent should pressure their child to remain in an unhappy or unsafe place. Forcing children into abusive relationships because of culture or religion only causes harm.

Each partner in a relationship should treat each other with respect, and if they are not happy, they should separate. People can make a wrong decision but should not spend their whole life with it. People have just one life and deserve to pursue happiness, not sorrow.

Every woman should have the right to cherish their life, to become economically independent and to be happy.