Start exercising now if you want to fit that halloween costume

By Aaron Brooks

A year ago, Jessica Jenks, a former colleague of mine, wrote a Halloween column reminding students that, “Your cellulite, love handles, stretch marks and cankles are not attributes that should be flaunted. Luckily, I’m reminding you to start working out now if you want to put on plastic fangs and a bikini and call yourself a vampire.”

In my opinion, Jenks’ column is worthy of repetition, but in addition to exercising your physique to prepare for Halloween, students should work out their insecurities as well.

As explained by Jenks, college women unfortunately have few options for Halloween costumes. Although they can choose from mainstream costume options like nurse, maid or cheerleader, without being creative or spending money on an elaborate costume, all women usually look like is a “sex worker.”

As reasoned by Jenks, if you are going to look like a sex worker, you might as well look like an appealing one; and that is true. Even I, at 25 years old, find it difficult to control my impulse to yell “Kool-Aid” at a snuggly dressed Red Riding Hood.

You only have three-and-a-half weeks before Halloween weekend, and although that is not a lot of time, exercise can make a difference. Women who may need to tighten up a bit for their costumes should alter their routines to include more cardio. Men: Although society does not hold us to such a high standard, we should include a couple more reps to buff up our biceps.

Only retain the exercise reminder if looking good matters to you. Just because you may run into some immature drunkard who may call you a sugary drink does not mean you should stay home free of criticism.

Halloween is the only holiday that is better as an adult. Do not let a few extra pounds stop you from booooogieing down . The most important part of your Halloween costume is not how you look in it, but how you act in it.

As Kevin Reynolds, junior political science major, advised, “If you fulfill your costume’s role, it will be more fun, especially if you have a partner or a group to play off of.”

Besides, you are in college. Most college students understand genetics affects an individual’s weight; and the students who do not are usually those who are failing their classes: the one thing that should be made fun of.

Speaking of which, at least I have exams and research papers due Nov. 2. Check your syllabi, and if you find yourself similarly situated, get your studying done before Oct. 28.

A few other tips are to go and return with a group, make overnight accommodations ahead of time, and bring a change of clothes. There is nothing more embarrassing than walking home at 10 a.m. dressed as the Hamburglar.