Any given day on campus, one can witness any number of things. It may be a student running for the bus. Or – if you’re “lucky” – it may be two students practically molesting each other in the most public of settings. On a good day, you just might be privy to a few humorous things. But every day, there is the repeated travesty of assault.

It’s not discussed, but every single day, someone gets attacked. The person who is attacked continues on, but is berated and defiled on a regular basis. We watch in silence as this goes on in front of our faces, but we can’t stay silent anymore. We have to help him.

His name is Good Taste. People all over campus beat the living daylights out of him without reason, other than a lack of common sense. However, it is time to befriend Good Taste and welcome him into your heart.

He’s kind. He will work for you if you work for him. To do so, however, he asks a few things.

If you’re a woman and you have an early morning class, don’t wrap your head in an assortment of scarves. He hates that; it injures him. Perhaps, put your hair up in a ponytail or try a nice hat. But the scarves make Good Taste bleed internally.

It also pains him when your clothes are two sizes too small. You should love every inch of you, that’s one thing. But we don’t have to see all of them. If you can’t button the top of your pants, they aren’t your size anymore. It’s a sad but true fact.

Now, gentlemen, you aren’t exempt either. Good Taste has a sister; we’ll call her Fashion Sense. All she asks is that you evaluate who you are and dress accordingly. She can’t understand why everyone is suddenly wearing long-sleeved collared shirts when it does not represent who they are at all. A general rule: If at one end of your closet is a button-down shirt and the other end hosts multiple throwback jerseys, chances are one of those two extremes shouldn’t be there. Be eclectic, yes, but be truthful to yourself. You’re not doing yourself justice if you follow a trend and you’re the reason the trend dies.

As a side note, fellas, Ms. Sense weeps when your shirts touch your calves. There’s no earthly reason why one’s shirt should drag behind him.

Lastly, for everyone (as this has become a cultural phenomenon), Fashion Sense and Good Taste respectfully request that you contemplate your place in the World of Pink. Pink can be a great color, but it’s not for everyone. Don’t waste your money on something that doesn’t look good on you. Never lie to yourself to fulfill a desire that shouldn’t be yours to begin with. Let pink stay in the hands of those who know its power.

Clothing is not everything. It won’t predict the future; it won’t rectify the past – but it can affect the present. It’s not shallow to desire to look good, nor is it wrong. Dress how you want to dress, but know that the wrong combination hurts people – innocent, unwitting, nicely dressed people who only want the best for you and themselves.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.