There’s nothing funny about sucking

By John Tillotson

With “Enema of the State,” Blink-182 showed how humor can fit into punk rock. With the release of “The Green Chair Sessions,” local band Flaming Boner shows that not just any mediocre punk band can be funny.

The album lacks taste and sensibility. It goes beyond the boundaries of “South Park,” “Jackass” and even Howard Stern. This trip to the tasteless makes the album lose all opportunity for any entertainment value.

The local band opens with a track called “Jesus Socks,” which has an over-used punk riff and lyrics that make no sense.

The group spoofs a 1950s teen love song with the appalling “I’m in Love with a Mannequin.” Another song, “Puddin’ Pop,” takes the young-girl-in-love-with-older-man scenario to sickening heights.

Not only is the humor crude, but so is the sound quality. Every song is plagued by static. It sounds as if the group huddled around one microphone and banged out the eight tracks.

The band had potential for actual fun on “Hell Raisin’ Song” if it weren’t for the mention of taking a man and raping him.

The band is made up of Big Papa Smurf on vocals, Rockabilly Jon on guitar, Tom Foolery on bass and Persistent C on drums.

Unfortunately, the music cannot save the album from its pointless lyrics. “The Green Chair Sessions” is filled with old punk cliches and even the punk die-hard couldn’t find appreciation in it.

There even are a couple of secret songs on the CD. One is a blurb where they talk of sacrificing a goat. The other is a live track of Tom Foolery playing a song. The band explains it’s a part of the “Enslaving the Ugly” program.

If there’s any bright spot on the album, it has to be “Denny’s Kids.” The song depicts those late-night revelers as vampire-like creatures, and the band didn’t need to rape a mannequin to make the idea amusing. It was a quick glimpse into what could have been a fun album.

However, as it stands, if “The Green Chair Sessions” is considered a punk album, it’s pretty bad.

If it’s considered a comedy album, it’s even worse.