It’s funny how relationships work - or don’t work.

Couples go through three standard phases in the first year of being together, and if they want to make it past phase three, it takes some effort by both parties.

The "tulips and roses" phase is by far the best, and also the shortest. You meet the greatest person in the world and everyone else is chopped liver. It’s the fun phase because there is no fighting or drama, likely because you don’t know how to piss each other off yet.

Just how the first summer heat makes spring flowers wilt and die, the "tulips and roses" phase is short-lived. By the time a relationship moves into the "getting to know you" phase, couples may or may not have had the awkward "what are we?" talk. You might think the "tulips and roses" phase is when a couple gets to know each other, but in that time, you think everything about that person is wonderful. His stinky feet don’t bother you and you think he’s cute when he’s mad.

But in the "getting to know you" phase, the lovey-dovey stuff has dramatically died down and you finally start acting like normal people. That’s when you really get to know each other. His stinky feet start to bother you and you can’t stand it when he gets mad. When people start acting like themselves, it doesn’t take long to find out how to push each other’s buttons.

You start to expect certain behavior out of one another and start to know each other so well that you can deliberately say things you know will get a dirty look in return. In the "tulips and roses" phase, he can say the rudest things, but it’s cute and funny. But in the "getting to know you" phase, if he says something rude that is serious, it’s not so funny now.

This phase can last anywhere from a couple months to a year. The breaking point to move into phase three is when you really find out how to make each other happy. Phase three is the serious one, the one where the things you hate are the things you love most.

Moving from phase two to three means you both should have figured out by now how to balance a relationship in your lives. Life shouldn’t revolve around your significant other when you are in college, but if you want to make a person a part of your life, there has to be a little effort.

The further along you are in your college career, the harder it is to make a new relationship last. School, graduation and careers take an obvious precedent over someone who you’ve only known for a few months. As much as you may have secretly planned your life together in the "tulips and roses" phase, the reality is you can’t build your life around someone, even if you think you fell in love on day four.

It’s more about integrating someone, bad habits and all, into your life. In the long run, great accomplishments mean nothing if you don’t have someone great to share them with.

Views expressed in this humor column do not necessarily reflect the Northern Star or its staff. Send comments or questions to kcavarretta@northernstar. info